All posts by Matthew Callan

YouTube Comment of the Week

YouTube Comment of the Week: Toys R Us

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Today’s installment of YouTube Comment of the Week comes from a Halloween-themed ad for Toys R Us that ran for approximately 900 years. At the end of the commercial, you can see a little “(c) 1983” in the lower left-hand corner, but the tape from which this was digitized was made many years later, and the ad continued to be run each October for several years after that. It was an evergreen reminder of the season, like fake cobwebs on hedges, or dire warnings about evil strangers who might put staples in your candy.

We had no Toys R Us where I grew up, and yet would get ads like this on local TV out of The City, which of course made me extremely envious of relatives who lived within driving distance of one, or friends whose indulgent parents would drive to far, far away places like Paramus to go to one. I don’t know why I wanted to go there so badly, since I couldn’t have afforded to buy anything I wanted anyway. I do know that it was a horrible tease to see commercials for this wondrous fairy land on TV when the closest location was a good 40 miles away. Chuck E. Cheese did the same thing, those cruel bastards.

Technical Nonsense

A New Way to Like Me!

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Once again, Scratchbomb has tinkered with that which was not broken. I’ve streamlined the sharing functions at the bottom of each post. You can still tweet all about it to your friends. THAT HAS NOT CHANGED! You can still like a post on Facebook. THAT HAS ALSO NOT CHANGED. But you can also now click the little Facebook icon to add a post to your wall along with a pithy comment.

You can also give Scratchbomb posts a Google +1. What’s that, you ask? I barely know! I do know that it may or may not have something to do with Google+, which I am signed up with even though I barely understand it any better than the aforementioned button. But everyone’s all excited about Google+, and let it never be said I can’t jump on a bandwagon with the best of ’em. In addition, there’s a brand new button to add this to Google Reader, if you’re into that sorta thing.

Finally, I’ve added a new dropdown menu that allows you to share a post on whatever weird other social media things you use, you weirdos. The most important thing is, this gives you a brand new way to tell the world how awesome I am. So please, use it early and often!

Baseball

The Church of Jeter

So, Derek Jeter then.

The Captain notched his 3000th hit in just about the most dramatic fashion possible. The only way it could’ve been more The Natural-ish is if hit #3K was a grand slam that simultaneously won the World Series and healed the sick. I tuned into the game, halfheartedly paying attention while trying to write. When Jeter reached down and pulled the ball into left field for a homer, despite the fact that I was alone in the house, I blurted out loud Are you fucking kidding me? Of course, Jeter followed it up by going 5-for-5 and knocking in the game’s go-ahead run. It was all just too perfect. You know those sickeningly sweet breakfast cereals that kids gobble but which are way too sugary for an adult’s tastebuds? This was the sports equivalent of that.

In this situation, as a non-Yankee fan, one’s first inclination is to mock and denigrate, which naturally I did. This is dumb, because it just comes across as sour grapes, and because it denies me a chance to enjoy something that should be enjoyable. As a rational human being (or at least a person who tries to be one) and a baseball fan, I have to concede that 3000 hits is in itself a remarkable accomplishment. I also have to admit that the way Jeter did it is so storybook perfect it would be rejected from even the tritest screenplay. Can’t I just take this in as one of those magical moments that sports hands to us once in a blue moon?

I won’t say no, I can’t, but there is something that prevents me from even allowing polite applause on this occasion. However, the more I think about this rationally, the more I have to conclude that any ill feelings I have toward Derek Jeter have almost nothing to do with him as a player or person.

Continue reading The Church of Jeter →