Monthly Archives: December 2008

The New York Douchebag Sportswriters Guild Decrees Eric Mangini’s Fate

Posted on December 31, 2008 by

As chairman of the New York Douchebag Sportswriters’ Guild, I, Mike Lupica, call this meeting to order. First item of business, all praise and worship be due to Gorlaqk the Dread. Hail Gorlaqk! Indeed, Murray Chass. Second item of business, … Read on! —->

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Stop the Presses – With Horror!

Posted on December 31, 2008 by

“Hey chief, this just came over the wire: Bill Cowher has no interest in Jets job.“ “This is definitely going on tomorrow’s back cover. Now, we just need to find an appropriate photo, something that will convey the contempt and … Read on! —->

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My Brain Hates Me, Part 8,143

Posted on December 30, 2008 by

I don’t get tunes stuck in my head. They burrow into my brain like ticks, and it takes some serious countermeasures to lodge them loose, like extreme zen-like concentration, or dynamite. But even worse is when I get a tune … Read on! —->

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A Word From Bill Belichick to His Prodigal Sons

Posted on December 30, 2008 by

All the little fledglings who left my nest, see how their wings have been clipped. First Romeo, then Eric. Charlie is surely not long for Notre Dame. It shan’t be long before they come begging for refuge. And I shall … Read on! —->

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The Swayziest Christmas of Them All

Posted on December 24, 2008 by

I hope pain don’t hurt for you this holiday season.

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Presents Will Be Given!

Posted on December 24, 2008 by

I couldn’t let the holiday season pass us by without sharing with you my new favoritest Christmas song: “A Quick One (Pete Townsend’s Christmas)” by Wild Billy Childish and the Musicians of the British Empire. I look forward to this … Read on! —->

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The Steinbrenners Keep on Fiddling

Posted on December 24, 2008 by

STEINBRENNERUS: Have you gotten my first baseman, Seneca? BRIAN CASHMAN: Um, it’s Brian, but yes, we have signed Mark Teixeira. STEINBRENNERUS: Bring him forth. STEINBRENNERUS: Ah, but he’s a strapping buck of a man! Can he perform? MARK TEIXEIRA: Well, … Read on! —->

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Demean Yr Idols

Posted on December 24, 2008 by

I was stuck at a light this morning at the corner of Flushing and Bedford, right behind a minivan of generic American make. The minivan’s rear windshield was emblazoned with two stickers, right at the top of the glass, centered … Read on! —->

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He Went to Jared!

Posted on December 23, 2008 by

GIRL 1: Ooh, Jen’s texting us from her big date. GIRL 2: He brought her roses! GIRL 1: That’s sweet! So anyway, my supervisor is such a bitch! She’s always giving me a hard time about…oh, it’s Jen again. GIRL … Read on! —->

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Corporate America Finally Gets It, Except When It Doesn’t

Posted on December 23, 2008 by

In case you hadn’t heard, the economy’s in the toilet. As such, this year’s holiday ads have taken quite a different tack than usual. Rather than pressure you to SPEND SPEND SPEND, most commercials emphasize the relative affordability of their … Read on! —->

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