Tag Archives: Sean from Massapequa

SfM in PSL

seanfrommassapequa.jpgJust a friendly reminder that Sean from Massapequa is down in Port St. Lucie, tweeting away about his favorite team (who he can’t stop threatening with bodily harm, for some reason).

Meanwhile, Skitch Hanson sent me another telegram. He’s having some automotive issues that have prevented him from getting to Florida, but he promised he will start tweeting again as soon as he’s there.

Our Spring Training Correspondent

seanfrommassapequa.jpgOne development has emerged in Scratchbomb-Land: Sean from Massapequa will be traveling to Port St. Lucie and providing some updates from the Mets’ spring training camp via his Twitter page.

Apparently, Sean just won a lawsuit against the city; he wouldn’t tell me what city and for what purpose. But in any case, he’s got some money and has decided to spend it following the Mets around Florida. He says he should get down there some time this weekend, so check in with him for exciting Grapefruit League action!

And hey, follw me while you’re at it.

Sean from Massapequa: A-Rod, Citigroup, and Other Scoundrels

I often write about the Mets on this site, but I realize that my perspective is not necessarily that of the average fan. So as the Hot Stove League heats up, I want to get the viewpoint of another Amazins enthusiast. Today Scratchbomb welcomes back Sean from Massapequa, a union pipefitter and frequent WFAN caller, to discuss A-Rod and several other Mets-related messes.

seanfrommassapequa.jpgSo what’s your take on the A-Rod steroid situation?

I am so sick of this shit.

Sick of what, steroids?

No, of this winter shit. I swear to god, if I gotta shovel the driveway one more time, he’s gettin a snow blower straight up the poop chute!

Who is?

God is, I just toldja! He’s responsible for the snow, ain’t he? He’s responsible for this hideous winter, ain’t he? And he’s responsible for the fact that pitchers and catchers don’t start til Friday, and I’m losin my fuckin mind!

I thought we were gonna talk about A-Rod and steroids,

Listen, at this point, you gotta figure everybody was doin em. I’m sure there was guys on the Mets I cheered for who were doin em too.You think anybody in this world is pure, you’re livin in a dream world. Everybody cheats in every business–it’s a fact of life! So let’s just move forward. What do I care if this guy was doin steroids 6 years ago?

So you don’t think the media should be hounding him for this?

*pfft* The media. Listen, if the media was so concerned about steroids, why didn’t they investigate this stuff when it was happenin? They was in the locker rooms all the time, and they didn’t say nothin, cause they was just happy to be ridin on the gravy train with guys like McGwire and Sosa and Bonds. Now all these things come out from real reporters and these idiots on ESPN act like they’re all shocked. Buncha bums.

I’m amazed to hear myself say this, but I think I agree with you.

Bottom line: all of this stuff is in the past. A-Rod did it, they all did it, let’s just play some ball already, alright?

So I guess you won’t boo him when he plays at CitiField later this year.

You kiddin? Man, I am gonna firebomb that guy.

I assume you mean with words.

No, I’m gonna get some M-80s and fire em off at the field! I gotta cousin in Pennsylvania, he can hook me up with anything you want for the Fourth of July. You want his number? I get a finder’s fee if you buy somethin.

No thanks, I’m not in the market for fireworks. But you mentioned CitiField, and lately the Mets have gotten a lot of heat because Citigroup received a federal bailout. A lot of people think it’s not right for a company that got TARP money to spend funds on something so frivolous. Do you think the Mets should end their relationship with Citigroup?

Hey, dem’s the breaks, Citigroup. You signed a contract, you gotta pay up. It ain’t the Mets’ fault you morons don’t know how to run a business. Listen, I’m in a union. I know all about contracts. You honor em, or somebody cuts your brakes, simple as that.

Sure, there’s a contract, but you have to admit it looks bad for the Mets to take their money. Wouldn’t it be in the team’s best interests, PR-wise, to dissolve the arrangement so that it’s not an issue going forward?

How much are the Mets gettin from them, $40 million a year? I’d be willin to look pretty bad for that kinda dough. Every newspaper in the country could scream at me, long as I got to keep the loot. There is a very short list of things I wouldn’t do for $40 million. In fact, I got it here in my pocket. Lemme read it to you: “Nothing.” See, there you go.

Finally, it looks like the Mets’ lineup is pretty much set now. They might add a lefty reliever, but in all likelihood they won’t make any additions to the lineup. God help me for asking this, but are you happy with the current setup of this team?

I am never happy with this team. Ever.

You’re so negative. If this team makes you so unhappy, why don’t you just switch to a different team, or stop watching baseball?

Because I will never find a team to piss me off and baffle me so consistently as this one. Plus, if they ever have a great year and it all pays off, I can’t wait to bust on all the fair-weather bandwagon fans who’ll pop up outta the woodwork.

That’s some dream, Sean.

What is a man without his dreams?