For the original Inappropriate Walk Up Music post, click here.

Every day until Opening Day, Scratchbomb presents three tunes that are completely, unequivocally inappropriate for use as major league walk-up music.

These are not necessarily bad songs–although that
certainly helps. They are merely songs that don’t evoke the fear and dread one traditionally associates with the walk-up song. In fact, they evoke the exact opposite.

Imagine yourself in the on-deck circle. Bottom of the 9th. Down by one. Man on second, two out. You hear the PA system blare, The centerfielder, number 20… The crowd roars at the sound of your name. And as you stroll to the batter’s box, you are greeted with the strains of one of these songs:

* “Closer to Fine,” Indigo Girls
Suggested by Cuzzin Loutie; we also would have accepted “Galileo”

* “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”: Paul McCartney
I like this song, but I’m amused by the thought of someone taking practice cuts during the jaunty Admiral Halsey section. Like, Albert Pujols staring down the pitcher while Sir Paul toots “He had to have a berth, or he couldn’t get to sleep…”

* Charlene, “Never Been to Me”
They used to reference this song all the time on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. In fact, I was unaware it was an actual song for the longest time; I just thought “I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me” was one of those touchy-feely Me Decade phrases. If you’ve never heard the song, it’s just as ridiculous as that line implies.