Boob Tubery

Hidden Muppet Treasure

A tweet from someone (can’t recall who; forgive me, it’s been a jerk of week for me) led me to a post at Mark Evanier’s* Web site (News from ME) with some amazing video.

* In case you’re unfamiliar with Mr. Evanier, he’s a scribe for many cartoons and comic books over the years–most notably (for me) Groo the Wanderer, a grossly overlooked work of supreme silliness.

I’m totally just echoing what Mr. Evanier wrote on his site, but if I can expose a few dozen more people to these videos, it’s worth it. And I’m also gonna go ahead and totally tell you what happens in these videos, but I promise these spoilers won’t make it any less awesome.

The post in question has a clip from the classic Late Night with David Letterman (from 1984, according to its YouTube page), with Dave interviewing pre-Carson Tonight Show host Jack Paar. Jack takes Dave on an impromptu tour (one Dave was not briefed on before the show, apparently) backstage at the Late Night studio, which belonged to the Tonight Show during Paar’s reign. Jack points out a few notable spots, including his old office, which had been filled with junk since he left.

The tour ends in a dressing room, where Paar opens up an innocuous looking utility door to reveal a tangle of old pipes. But not just any pipes. What sense would that make? C’mon, use your head.

No, these pipes were decorated by Jim Henson.

It seems Paar had The Muppets as guests on The Jack Paar Program (the talk show he hosted when he was allowed back on TV) in 1964. It was one of their first national TV appearances. Grateful for the opportunity, Henson expressed his thanks in graffiti form. And even though paint is not a medium you associate with Jim Henson, you can totally see his hand in this work.

Amazingly, it was there 20 years later when Paar sprung it on Dave Letterman. Even more amazing, the artwork is still there today. In fact, NBC has now decided to make it part of their studio tour. Here, in a segment from The Today Show, the exhibit is unveiled by Jimmy Fallon and Frank Oz, puppeteer behind Bert, Fozzie Bear, and many other beloved Muppets.

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If you don’t think this is one of the coolest things ever, this is where we part ways, sir.

Sports

Vuvuzela Facts

  • Thumbnail image for vuvuzelas.jpgThere are many rumors about the origins of the vuvuzela. Some say it was the result of a CIA psy-ops experiment that tried to find the perfect frequency that would drive men mad. Others say it was spawned from a horn that fell off Satan himself. Still others say that the instrument was invented and popularized by Kenny G. All of these rumors are correct.
  • Though it is associated with South African soccer, the vuvuzela originated in South America and is named for the Argentinian pop star of the same name, best known for her 1973 hit,  “Mis oídos están sangrando (para ti).”
  • A vuvuzela can register sounds up to 127 decibels. The only louder man-made sound is a detonated nuclear bomb hooked up to a vuvuzela.
  • Scientists are hard at work developing an even louder vuvuzela for the 2014 World Cup, the Vuvuzela Centipede, which will consist of three vuvuzelas surgically attached to one another.
  • Many critics feel the vuvuzela is distracting and not befitting “the beautiful game” and its grand traditions, such as hooliganism, bloody, deadly riots, and fascist salutes.

Decrees for My All Encompassing Dictatorship

Decrees for My All Encompassing Dictatorship: No Bragging About Ignorance

Within the last few weeks, as World Cup fever has gripped (most of) the globe, I’ve seen numerous wags on the internet tweet/facebook/smoke signal about how they would never watch soccer in a million years. Especially here in America, where soccer is still seen as something decadent, European, and vaguely effeminate, kinda like…the rest of Europe, I guess. Never mind that the World Cup is literally the most watched thing on the planet. You and your small circle of friends don’t care about it, and it is therefore not worth your time.

I can’t stand this Me-Centric attitude that celebrates ignorance. When people say things like this, they are declaring their pride in how much they don’t know. I despise when people declare I’VE NEVER WATCHED/LISTENED TO/READ [BLANK] with pride, as if they’ve passed some endurance test the rest of us poor slobs failed. “It took all my strength, but I never watched a single episode of Lost. You poor saps will never know what you didn’t miss!”

I’ve always felt that there is nothing to be gained from not knowing something, because everything is an experience, whether it’s listening to a symphony or watching American Idol. And yes, Idol sucks hard, but I know it sucks hard because I’ve actually watched it a few times.

When you say I WILL NEVER WATCH/LISTEN TO/READ [BLANK], you are saying I AM WILLFULLY CLOSING OFF MY MIND TO CERTAIN THINGS I SUSPECT I WON’T LIKE. And that is fine, if that is what you choose to do with your brain. Just don’t act like this decision makes you more evolved than everyone else. And certainly don’t act like you can comment on the qualities of something you’ve already chosen to ignore.

Under my benevolent despotism, if you choose to not see/listen to/read something, all you should be allowed to say about it is. “I haven’t seen/listened to/read that. It doesn’t look like something I’d be into.” And that’s it.

Those who violate this rule shall be locked in a solid white room with no windows for a full week, where they will be able to enjoy the stimulation-free nothingness that they seem to crave so much.

I have spoken.

A potentially explosive collection of verbal irritants