The Funny

Norman Lear Meets Albert Camus

FX’s new show, Louie, has only aired two episodes, but it might already be the best show on TV. Party Down would’ve given it a run for its money, but as of yesterday, Party Down no longer exists. (Hey Starz, go zuck it.) I don’t mean Louie is the best comedy-starring-a-stand-up-legend, or the best sitcom, or the best show on non-network TV. I feel like it is already better than 98% of anything currently airing on TV, anywhere.

Granted, I had high hopes for this show already, since I am a huge, huge fan of the stand-up of the show’s creator/writer/director, Louis C.K. And he also wrote for Conan O’Brien, Chris Rock, and The Dana Carvey Show, so his comedy pedigree could not be higher.

But I also had high hopes for his last foray into sitcomery, HBO’s Lucky Louie, and that didn’t quite work out. For that show, Louis C.K. wanted to make a modern Norman Lear-type sitcom, with threadbare sets and working class characters. It was an awesome idea, but one that didn’t quite make it. I don’t know if it was a failure of concept or execution, but it just never clicked into place. I REALLY tried to love Lucky Louie, I really did, but I could never make it past “like”. HBO must have agreed, since they canceled it after one season.

That’s why I don’t believe my judgment is clouded by my feelings about the parties involved, and I can honestly say that Louie is outstanding. It is simultaneously the funniest and darkest thing I’ve seen on TV in years. It is jam packed with LOLs and has moments of despair as bleak as anything you’ve seen on The Sopranos or The Wire–often at the same time.

Louis C.K. basically plays himself, a divorced dad of two stumbling his way back into the single world. It also features clips of his stand-up, which as a sort of Greek chorus to the rest of the action, and are easily the funniest thing on the show. That’s not a comment on the rest of the show–it’s a comment on how Louis C.K. is one of the best stand-up comedians alive. (Video below via Videogum)

I was practically in tears at the last half of this set. And as I laughed, part of me thought, Jesus Christ, why am I laughing at this? Because in pure substance, what Louis C.K. is saying is HORRIFYING. And not in a gross-out way. In a “we’re all gonna die and life is meaningless” way.

Just look at it written down: How “the best case scenario” for any relationship is “you’re gonna lose your best friend and just walk back from D’Agostino’s every day with heavy bags and wait for your turn to be nothing also”. Or how bringing a puppy home is saying to your family, “Look everyone, we’re all gonna cry soon! I brought home us crying in a few years! Countdown to sorrow!”

The only reason this doesn’t sound like a suicide note is because it’s presented comedically, in a Comedy Context, so we can all laugh and say, “Yeah, you’re right, most things we think are important are really kinda pointless, and when you get right down to it, that’s funny.”

Ask yourself: When was the last time TV show came even close to saying something like that?

But the non-stand-up segments are amazing, too. One thing this show does extremely well: showing New York in its actual cramped, annoying glory. It’s not the Sex and the City New York, but much closer to the real New York, where people live in tiny, shitty apartments and there’s traffic and everybody’s sweaty and weird.

In the first episode, Louie picks up a girl at her apartment for what turns out to be the most awkward date in the history of time (he shows up wearing a suit, while she prepares to hit the town in a tank top, and it all goes downhill from there). As they’re leaving her apartment building, he tries to open the front door for her, but opening the door traps her in one corner of the building’s tiny vestibule. He closes the door just enough to let her through, then makes a fumbling attempt to kiss her, made even more uncomfortble the claustrophobic setting. The scene lasted maybe 20 seconds, but it’s the most perfect, New York-y scene I’ve seen in a long time.

Louie is also one of the best directed and edited shows on TV in many years. It’s so artfully done, which is amazing considering it’s made on a relatively low budget and a tight shooting schedule (see this Onion AV Club interview for full deets). Like the scene in the vestibule, which was shot from above, all in one take, so you could feel just how awkward and interminable that moment felt. He might have been able to wring more cheap laughs out of close-ups and quick cuts, but obviously the feeling he wanted to convey was more important than the laughs-per-square-inch.

To me, that’s a sign of maturity. Louie is not needy. It’s a show that already knows exactly what it is and trusts that people will understand it.

I can’t remember the last time I was so impressed with the first two episodes of anything, and not since Annie Hall has someone so skillfully tread the line between comedy and sorrow. Louie is a work of art, and I think you should watch it if you like things that are amazing.

Sports

FIFA Affirms its Belief in Humanity

fifa.jpgMany of you in ze press have called for replay in futbol. Zis is not possible. FIFA, she believes in humanity, and all of its flaws.

Zey say we can just watch zese replays and fix ze mistakes of our referees. And I say, what was broken zat needs to be fixed? Technically, yes, the calls are incorrect. But it is not ze point of what we call Ze Beautiful Game to get things right. Perish the thought! How unbelievably gauche.

And in ze final analysis, what is right, anyhow? Getting things correct? Technically, yes. But zis does not concern us.

Europeans believe in humanity. We are, after all, the land that gave the world Beethoven, Einstein, Camus, and Benny Hill. Humans make mistakes, and we should not “correct” zat any more zan we should “correct” a sunrise or a volcano. If zat means a team gets eliminated from World Cup contention on an obvious handball, or two round-of-16 matches are almost ruined by hideous calls–so be it.

Who believes in replay? Americans, that’s who. Zey strive for robotic efficiency and perfection. It sickens me. Let zem have zeir pasteurized cheese and frozen foods and filtered cigarettes. Ze rest of ze futbol world, we shall embrace humanity. Flawed, ugly, stupid humanity.

We believe zis teaches a valuable nature to our players about ze true nature of ze universe: Zat we live in void which is, if not godless, zen ruled by a blind idiot god whose arbitrary decisions make no sense to our minds. Against such hopelessness, what can mankind do but assert our free will, however pointless is may be?

So zere will be no replay or review of any kind. Not for any play on the pitch. Or our disastrous, nepotistic hotel scheme. Or our completely unfair ticket reselling policies. We at FIFA believe in humanity far too much to allow zat to happen. In particular, we believe in covering ze asses of ze collection of humanity known as our leadership.

To humanity!

Baseball

Don’t Do It, Bobby V! It’s a Trick!

Thumbnail image for 99_nldsgm4_bobbyv.pngAs I write this, all the rumor, scuttlebutt, and foofara points to Bobby Valentine becoming the next manager of the Florida Marlins. This would distress me greatly, because I love Bobby V, and I despise the Marlins.

I actually don’t hate any player on the Marlins. I just have no respect for them, as an organization. They’ve won two World Series and dismantled themselves immediately after winning both of them. They take revenue sharing money from MLB and refuse to spend it on their roster unless shamed by Bud Selig into doing so (when Selig sides against an owner, you know they’re really doing something wrong). They play in a cavernous, charmless stadium that they couldn’t fill if each seat came with a free beer and blow job. And their owner is easily the biggest shitheel in baseball now that George Steinbrenner is retired.

One of my most painful baseball memories: seeing the Mets lose to the Marlins on the last day of the 2008 season, the last game ever at Shea. The loss prevented them from finishing in a tie with the Brewers for the wild card, and brought on another long winter.

Yes, the blame falls on the Mets themselves for letting this happen. But after the Mets made the last out, the Marlins hugged and high-fived on the field like a bunch of Little Leaguers who just earned a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. I know teams congratulate each other on the field all the time, but this was a prolonged, obnoxious celebration. They milked this bit for every last drop, as angry fans screamed GET OFF THE DAMN FIELD!! It was basically a huge extended middle finger to everyone in the crowd, and I will hate the Marlins until the day I die for that.

Not to mention this was the second year in a row that the Marlins beat the Mets on the last day of the season to destroy their playoff hopes. Yes, please, let’s not mention it.

As for Bobby Valentine, I know a lot of people don’t like him for one reason or another, and I understand why people wouldn’t like him. He certainly doesn’t suffer from a lack of ego or excess of humility. He has a weird sense of humor that doesn’t always translate well after it leaves his brain and enters the real world. Like his infamous dugout disguise in 1999, or his attempts at Cheech and Chong-esque jokes during the Grant Roberts mess in 2002.

Allowing all of that, I think Bobby Valentine is a true baseball genius. Just look at the Mets teams he brought to the postseason. They had lots of talent and were fun to watch (particularly in 1999), but they were not teams that should’ve gone deep into the playoffs.

Valentine was able to take those teams’ weaknesses and turn them into strengths. He compensated for a relatively weak starting rotation with judicious use of a great bullpen. While he wasn’t afraid to use his relievers early and often, rarely did he overuse them.

He also didn’t have fantastic outfielders to choose from, so he switched often between guys like Benny Agbayani, Ronny Cedeno, Darryl Hamilton, Melvin Mora, Jay Payton, Timo Perez…not exactly a collection of superstars. And yet he found enough playing time for all of them, while also managing to identify whoever had the “hot hand” at the time.

Bobby Valentine was fired after the 2002 season to pay for Steve Phillips’ sins, which still stands out as one of the dumbest things the Mets have ever done (quite a feat, considering the team). He found success managing in Japan, but clearly (and understandably) feels like he still has something to prove in the majors.

And I would love to see him prove it–if not with the Mets, then with somebody. I could even stomach Bobby V managing the Phillies or the Yankees. But there’s something about seeing him manage the Marlins that seems both unseemly and beneath him. Like he’s grasping at this opportunity simply because it’s been offered to him, when he would really be better served holding out for something better.

I’m sure that’s not true. After all, he interviewed for the Orioles’ opening and decided that wasn’t for him (who is it for?). And he’s apparently good buddies with Jeff Loria (a fact that makes me question all the good things I’ve said about him), so at least there’s some connection between the two men.

But seeing him in a Marlin uniform–which now appears more a matter of When than If–will be kind of like seeing Eugene Levy in all those terrible American Pie straight-to-DVD follow-ups, or Steve Martin in virtually everything he’s done in the last 15 years. You just wanna grab him and say, “Look, I know you want the work, and maybe on some level you need it, but you’re better than this, and this will not end well.”

Because you know that, even if Bobby V and Loria are BFFs, there will be conflicts between the two of them over the direction of the team. I can’t imagine he’ll enjoy Florida’s $45 million payroll, or taking buses between cities, or scrubbing the dirt out his players’ uniforms by hand, or mowing the field on off days.

Loria’s already run two good managers out of Florida–first Joe Girardi, then Fredi Gonzalez (and basically handed the Braves, a division rival, their future manager in the process). Bobby V is no better than either of these guys in his willingness to take shit from others. Is he likely to stay quiet when Loria continues to do things on the cheap, or do other insane things like install a shark tank behind home plate at their new stadium? Unlikely.

So if you haven’t said yes yet, Bobby, and you have a spare moment to reconsider, I humbly suggest you do so. Jeff Loria might be your buddy now, but I bet he gets a lot less friendly once five dollars is involved.

A potentially explosive collection of verbal irritants