Category Archives: The Funny

My Annual Plea

I've used this pic four years running, and if it was good enough for 2008, dagnabbit, it's good enough for 2012

Every year around this time, I entreat you, the Scratchbomb reader, to consider donating some funds to WFMU, the Fun 91, the Freeform Station of the Nation. That time is upon us again.

WFMU does not get any money from the government (federal, state, local, what have you), nor does it get any money from corporations. It also refrains from constantly begging for money throughout the year a la PBS. WFMU has but one two-week pledge marathon that raises the bulk of their operating costs for the year. That is why it is crucial to add your support at this time.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but radio in the New York area is bad. Like, really bad. Atrocious, one might say. For a city that likes to think it’s the Center of Everything, particularly when it comes to the arts, New York’s radio stations are unlistenable, robotically programmed swill. WFMU is an island of goodness amid this raging sea of garbage.

Because they are not owned by some huge Conglomco, and because they are not beholden to any taskmasters governmental or corporate, WFMU gets to do whatever the hell it wants (within FCC confines, of course). I don’t love everything I’ve ever heard on WFMU, but I do love the fact that all of it is made by real humans who love music and radio, which definitively cannot be said for everything else on the airwaves.

I first started listening to WFMU well over a decade ago. A roommate turned me on to Terre T’s Cherry Blossom Clinic, which was exactly the kind of punk/garage/glam show I’d been searching for my entire life to that point. I made my first WFMU donation to her show when I was still powerfully, crushingly unemployed, because I believed in it that much, and if I couldn’t share what little money I had with something that made me that happy, well, what was the point of money anyway?

I still love Cherry Blossom Clinic and listen every Saturday I can; in my push to complete my novel over the last few months, I probably wrote 75 percent of it listening to Terre T. And so I feel somewhat indebted to WFMU for providing me with a soundtrack to my industry.

WFMU is also home to The Best Show, which is not only one of the funniest things humans have ever done, but which would be impossible on any other station. To do the kind of humor that Tom Scharpling does on that show–be it sparring with callers, chatting with guests, or performing comedy with Jon Wurster–requires large swaths of time that other spots on the dial would never allow in a million years. Even if you don’t listen to The Best Show, chances are you enjoy some form of comedy that has taken inspiration in some way from The Best Show. (SNL, for instance, counts many Friends Of Tom among its writers and performers; peep Bill Hader’s t-shirt in this video for visual evidence thereof.) That alone makes it, and WFMU, worthy of your attention.

I’ve volunteered for WFMU events for last few years and it is always a joyous experience. I am not blessed with a huge amount of free time, but I make time for WFMU, because being a tiny piece of what makes it happen is so rewarding. For instance, two years ago, I got witness this bit of amazingness–a Nerd-Off between John Hodgman and Patton Oswalt–live and in person.

My wife and I will be assisting in The Best Show’s first marathon program this evening. We will also be donating funds in addition to our time, and if you have any change to spare, I urge you to do the same. If you can part with 5 bucks, I assure you it is appreciated. I’ve manned the phones at the marathon and received pledges at that level, and I can promise you that every little bit helps.

However, if you care to listen during tonight’s show (which will feature special guests Ted Leo and Julie Klausner) and care to donate $75 or more, you are entitled to the Hammer of the Gods Best Show Demon Summoning Pack, which includes:

  • A Best Show magazine with contributions from such luminaries as John Hodgman, David Rees, Robert Popper, Michael Kupperman, and more, plus an interview with Michael Nesmith and many other awesome tidbits and treats.
  • A flexidisc with an exclusive song from Kurt Vile
  • A CD of brand new comedy from Scharpling and Wurster.
  • A free download of the audio from last year’s Radiovision Conference panel, featuring Tom, Marc Maron, and Ira Glass.
  • A new Best Show sticker! A Vance the Puppet stressball! Some other stuff, I bet!

If all of that ain’t worth $75, I don’t know what is.

High rollers can donate more and get premiums from other DJs, which are always fantastic; the premium CDs from Terre T, Rex, and Evan “Funk” Davies always contain some amazing vinyl finds you simply can not get anywhere else. Think you can just get anything from anywhere in our digital age? You are completely wrong, and WFMU’s DJ premiums prove it every year.

I believe I’ve made made my case. This concludes my annual plea on behalf of WFMU, one of my favorite things in the world, until next week when I bug you again during Marathon Week Two.

Dennis Miller: A Stranger to My Own Soul

A while ago, nearly every season of Saturday Night Live was added to Netflix Instant, and I rejoiced. I was anxious to rewatch the episodes I remember from my youth–the Phil Hartman/Dana Carvey/Jon Lovitz years–and see if they were just as awesome as I remember. I also had very vivid memories of SNL band leader G.E. Smith, and the utterly nauseating “rockin” faces he would make as the show went to commercial. I wanted to see if this, too, was everything I remembered.

Sadly, the SNL episodes on Netflix are woefully incomplete, with tons of stuff cut out–some are as brief as a half hour long. And almost none of them retained the bumpers and the attendant guitar wankery I was looking for. ‘Twas a bitter pill to swallow.

But! I discovered something else while searching in vain for G.E. Smith’s painfully pursed visage. Did you know that while he was on SNL, Dennis Miller was acting in a one-man show into which he poured his tortured psyche? It’s true! I noticed that in every episode in which he appeared, at least once Dennis Miller would stare off into the middle distance and conduct a dialogue between himself and his innermost essence in a vain attempt to understand his place in the cosmos.

I have now captured these moments at a new Tumblr entitled “Dennis Miller: A Stranger to My Own Soul.” Tune there for regular excerpts from the Weekend Update anchor’s meisterwork. You can also follow the show on Twitter, where you can be apprised of updates and get occasional insights from the tortured late-80s mind of Miller himself.

So follow. And read. And be transformed by “Dennis Miller: A Stranger to My Own Soul.” Frank Rich once said of it, “the only things on Broadway that stink worse are the streetcorner garbage cans on an August afternoon and Legs Diamond.”

The Space Between the Cushions Collective: An Update

A while ago, Scratchbomb featured a Kickstarter page created by The Space Between the Cushions Collective, a group from Bushwick that “shifts the public art paradigm by creating sustainable, locally-grown couch forts.” Eventually, they were able to gain the funds necessary to embark on a tour, but I haven’t received an official update from them since a stop in Philadelphia. They were supposedly on their way to Pittsburgh, but I’ve received little more than texts from them in that time. I thought I’d share them with you in attempts to piece together their progress since The Collective’s last full-fledged update.

April 15
Do u kno if primant’is has vegan platter? asked guy behind counter 8x and he just keeps starin at me

April 17
damn;altenater might be shot again. shouldntve tried to recharge ipad and portable french press at smae time

April 18
back on the road got altenatre fixed, only cost $700 to fix that and the busted hobbit belt on the van’s third axel

April 22
gotta hightail it outta akron. set up couch fort on site of old tire factory and got this wierd rash

April 23
rash getting worse, startin to freak out, think i might have that creepshow disease where i turn into a grass monster

April 24
false alarm. turns out it was just a mosquito bite.

April 27
wtf! Schuyler got nabbed by the Chicago cops! just cuz he put up one of our installations on some el train steps and some old lady tripped. not gonna stand for this! rally tomorrow in grant park!

April 28
big crowd here, at least 8. 9 if you count the guy who’s looked over from that bench a bunch of times.

April 29
Schuyler’s outta jail, wants to know why we didn’t just bail him out instead of holding ‘some bullshit rally’. i told him in art it always makes the most sense to do the thing that makes the least sense. he punched me in the sternum

April 30
Schuyler called us a buncha assholes and took a bus back to NY.
i always doubted his commitment. his loss. we’re goin to Madison next the abandoned couch capital of the upper midwest

May 1
a buncha dumb college students ran off with our lattest installation and set it on fire. everyone’s goin nuts over here i think the school beat their big rival osamabin state or something? i dunno i don’t follow sports.

May 4
woke upearly this morning to watch the sunrise and think about how precious and fragile life is andhwo we have to make the best use of what little time we have on this planet. reallty got me motivated to findsome abadnoned couches and make forts out of them today