Category Archives: The Funny

Talks Given at the 2012 Symbrosium

The 17 Steps to Proper Cargo Shorts Care and Maintenance

Bro, I Am DEAD Serious, Bro
How to convince your bros that this shit you just saw ACTUALLY happened.

Dude, You Hit That?
PowerPoint presentation on exactly who we hit in the last calendar year

That Time We Got Fuckin’ HAMMERED
Tony reports on that time that was, oh man, you had to be there

Whattaya Bench?
Come on up to the stage, do some reps, show me what you got

The Fuck You Lookin’ At?!
The best techniques for dealing with assholes who got some kinda problem

3-Hour Lunch Break at T.J.’s
2-for-1 jello shots and bro-jitos ’til 5pm

Bill’s Girlfriend: Boner Killer or Plow Town?
Panel discussion. Bill’s girlfriend’s ballbusting will be weighed against the merits of her rack

The Affects of Keynesian Economic Theory on the Acquisition of Sweet Rides

Marketing and Sales: The Only Jobs?
Yes

Special Appearance by That Guy from the Dealership Who Hooked Joey Up

Feel the Heat: Upcoming Chef/Band Cookbook Collaborations

In a world wracked by war, strife, and uncertainty, we recently received the heart-warming news that flame-bedecked celebrity chef Guy Fieri was working on a cookbook with Smash Mouth, which is technically a rock band. However, this sure future James Beard Award winner is but one of several forthcoming cookbooks that will feature collaborations between your favorite celebrity chefs and bands. Now that you’ve unquestioningly accepted this premise, here are but a few examples of these culinary publications.

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How to Wind Up in Twitter Jail, Starring @TimesPublicEdit

I am @TimesPublicEdit.

I didn’t work all that hard to keep this quiet, but I never formally announced it, mostly because I didn’t think anyone was waiting with baited breath trying to puzzle out the secret. The reason I’m “revealing” this now is because, well, it’s already revealed via a post by Kat Stoeffel at the New York Observer today. That post was written because of the odd events of the last week involving the account, which began with a tweet last Monday.

This tweet was RT’ed and faved to an extent far beyond my wildest imaginings. It was also assumed to be the work of the actual New York Times‘ public editor by some news outlets that failed to perform a few extra seconds of due diligence. A formal complaint against the account (from whom, I don’t know) led to a suspension for being an “imposter” account.

After a week on the shelf, the account is back in action. I’m pretty fortunate in this regard; suspended accounts tend to stay that way indefinitely, or so Google tells me. However, I thought recounting what happened to @TimesPublicEdit might serve as a cautionary tale to other Twitter parodists, or just anybody who wants to build any kind of body of work on Twitter. Because you have to remember that anything you do there can be wiped out without warning, and that this is the risk you take when you scribble on someone else’s real estate.

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