Category Archives: Baseball

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter: The Turf Speech

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As I’ve written here before, Joe Posnanski is one of my favorite baseball writers. I’m hardly alone in that opinion; in fact, it seems redundant to sing his praises because so many people have already done so. He pens lengthy, digressive columns, yet his work is such a pleasure to read, it never seems all that long. A bit like Bill Simmons, his writing takes full advantage of the freedom afforded by the internet. Except he’s a hundred times the writer Simmons is, and doesn’t fill his columns with the same 5 pop culture references over and over again.

Posnanski is great when reacting to news–his recent assessment of the whole Mark McGwire situation at SI.com was one of the best takes I’ve read, if not the best. But he’s even better when tackling general issues, as he did last week in a speech given to Sports Turf Management. The talk was ostensibly about playing surfaces in baseball and how they’ve changed in the last 30 years or so. But of course, it was about a lot more than that.

The speech was transcribed and posted to Posnanski’s blog last Friday.  It may not sound like the most interesting subject in the world, but he could write about lint weave a compelling story around it. Read it and you shan’t be disappointed.

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter: Charlie Brown’s Stats

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cb.jpg

Earlier this week, the Nerd/Baseball Venn intersection was all a-buzz with an amazing project done over at Wezen-Ball.com. Larry Granillo had gone through all the Peanuts comic strips from 1950 through 1970 and, based on the documentary evidence, calculated a whole slew of stats for Charlie Brown’s legendarily awful team.

By this point, I am the twelve billionth person to blog about this, but I’m posting about it anyway, on the slim chance that some of you may not have heard of it yet. And also, its awesomeness warrants as much exposure as possible. Charlie Brown and baseball are my two earliest obsessions, so this insane project is right in my wheelhouse. It also includes tons of scans of and quotes from classic Peanuts strips.

Now if someone would track down all the stats for Joe Shlabotnik, including his managerial stint with the Waffletown Syrups, I’d be a truly happy man.

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter

The Buck Stops Just Before Omar

beltran.jpgHey Omar, can we talk?
minaya.jpgSure thing, Carlos. How’s that knee?
beltran.jpgThat’s what I want to talk to you about. I spoke to you about this surgery earlier this week, and I thought everything was cool.
minaya.jpgYeah, definitely, sounds like something I’d say.
beltran.jpgBut today, your assistant GM made it sound as if I went behind your back to do this. What the fuck?! If you had some problem with how this went down, why didn’t we just handle it internally? Why did you go after me in public, by proxy, and make me and everyone else on this team look bad?

minaya.jpgI didn’t go after you, Carlos, my assistant GM did. But it’s clear that somebody pulled a real choke job here on the whole communication thing, and we’ll take care of that ASAP. Right after we work out that 7-year extension for Bengie Molina.

beltran.jpgYou’re responsible for this whole mess! Why are you talking like it’s somebody else’s fault?!

minaya.jpgCarlos, you’ve never been in charge of a multimillion-dollar operation…
beltran.jpgI am a multimillion-dollar operation…
minaya.jpg…so you don’t understand how this works. I am not responsible for the Mets. I am in charge of the Mets. Being in charge is not the same thing as being responsible.
beltran.jpgYou’re right, I don’t understand.
minaya.jpgYou see, people who are responsible are held responsible for their actions. If I were responsible for things, I would’ve been fired a long time ago. Remember that time we assed away a postseason berth in the last month of the season?
beltran.jpgYeah, that happened two years in a row.
minaya.jpgReally? I have no memory of it happening two times. Then again, there was that one season where I took a lot of naps. You see, Carlos, only schmucks are responsible for things. Men are in charge. Men lead. They lead by standing there, immobile, staring straight ahead while their ship runs aground.
beltran.jpgHow do you get to be in charge?
minaya.jpgYou thrust yourself ahead blindly, like a bull in a china shop, barreling all your competitors out of your path. Other guys in charge will admire your spunk and grit and determination, and they won’t care that you have no idea what you’re doing, because they don’t know what they’re doing either, and they’re afraid to have anyone too smart or principled around them to make them look bad in comparison.
beltran.jpgWell, unlike you, my job is based on performance. In the big leagues, you can’t fail upwards and hope to be rewarded.
minaya.jpgYou can’t? I assume you’ve met Oliver Perez.
ollie.jpgDID SUMBODEE TAKE MY FUNYUNS BECUZ I CAN’T FIND THEMM