All posts by Matthew Callan

The Devil You Know and the Moral Buffet

I’ve been religious at some times in my life, and not religious in others. I’ve believed in God, not believed in God, and occupied several intermediate spots in between those two poles. So I feel that I can understand beliefs that motivate statements like that of Richard Mourdock, who called a hypothetical pregnancy resulting from rape “a gift from god.” I also feel I can denounce them regardless.

Mourdock’s statement touched a nerve in a campaign season that’s seen many candidates (all of them men) chomping at the bit to address the subject of rape for some reason. It also points to a big divide in our country when it comes to people’s notions about The Man Upstairs.

Very few Americans are full-fledged atheists; that’s a leap not many of us are comfortable making. But most of us aren’t super-religious, either. Most of us believe in God in a “sure, why not?” way that makes few demands of our time, because passive faith is a lot easier than active agnosticism. However, we also don’t enjoy the concept of a micromanaging God that directs and influences every single event in our daily lives. We like the idea of a God that made everything and has a cool crash pad ready for us when this life is over, but he’s not gonna give us a big plastic hassle about what we do day to day, man.

But, there are a significant number of people in this country who do believe in a hands-on God, one that takes an active role in our existence. This brings up the thorny issue of why such a God allows bad things to happen, over and over and over again.

Continue reading The Devil You Know and the Moral Buffet

Talks Given at the 2012 Symbrosium

The 17 Steps to Proper Cargo Shorts Care and Maintenance

Bro, I Am DEAD Serious, Bro
How to convince your bros that this shit you just saw ACTUALLY happened.

Dude, You Hit That?
PowerPoint presentation on exactly who we hit in the last calendar year

That Time We Got Fuckin’ HAMMERED
Tony reports on that time that was, oh man, you had to be there

Whattaya Bench?
Come on up to the stage, do some reps, show me what you got

The Fuck You Lookin’ At?!
The best techniques for dealing with assholes who got some kinda problem

3-Hour Lunch Break at T.J.’s
2-for-1 jello shots and bro-jitos ’til 5pm

Bill’s Girlfriend: Boner Killer or Plow Town?
Panel discussion. Bill’s girlfriend’s ballbusting will be weighed against the merits of her rack

The Affects of Keynesian Economic Theory on the Acquisition of Sweet Rides

Marketing and Sales: The Only Jobs?
Yes

Special Appearance by That Guy from the Dealership Who Hooked Joey Up

Feel the Heat: Upcoming Chef/Band Cookbook Collaborations

In a world wracked by war, strife, and uncertainty, we recently received the heart-warming news that flame-bedecked celebrity chef Guy Fieri was working on a cookbook with Smash Mouth, which is technically a rock band. However, this sure future James Beard Award winner is but one of several forthcoming cookbooks that will feature collaborations between your favorite celebrity chefs and bands. Now that you’ve unquestioningly accepted this premise, here are but a few examples of these culinary publications.

Continue reading Feel the Heat: Upcoming Chef/Band Cookbook Collaborations