A Link to the Past

zelda.jpgMonday marked the 25th anniversary of The Legend of Zelda, which means two things: 1) I get to briefly celebrate something I love, and 2) I am old.

Though Mario remains the more beloved character, Zelda is the more enduring title, because it was a progenitor of what video games have become over the last 25 years. Consider that it was the first game that:

  • Allowed you to save your progress, without the need of any codes or add-ons. Games like Metroid and Kid Icarus had made you input codes to get sort-of near where you last played, but only Zelda let you pick up exactly where you left off, with exactly as much stuff as you had when you left off.
  • Required an enormous amount of time to complete.
  • Had tons of secrets and extras you had to figure out yourself. Unlike most video games of the era, it was solvable not by repetition, but creative problem solving.

Zelda wasn’t meant to be a game you played for a little bit and then put down. It was meant to be a universe you immersed yourself in, one that you had to discover for yourself. That’s why it came with a map with huge portions of it missing. (I filled in my copy as I went along, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.)

These were all revolutionary ideas for the time, and technology had just advanced to the point where such a game was possible. The original game contained a small lithium battery that allowed you to save your game (as long as you remembered to reset before turning off the NES). It brought video games out of the scrolling, Flintstone-ian universe of Super Mario Brothers and into the world we know now.

My first encounter with Zelda was this bizarre ad. I can’t say this made me want to play the game, but it did grab my attention and intrigue me, mostly because I had no idea what was going on in it. The game itself is not so much the focus as the weird antics/voice of the man in the black unitard. (The man’s name is John Kassir, best known for being the voice of The Cryptkeeper. So, yeah.)

The first time I actually played the game was at my cousin’s house, which was where I probably played every new game–be it video, board, or other–for the first time. This detail would be unremarkable except that the reason I was at my cousin’s house at this time was because we all had to go to a family funeral.

The kids were not happy about having to abandon the gaming when it was time to go to the funeral home, so we brought along Zelda’s enormous instruction manual to examine at length, trying to learn its secrets and occasionally saying the names of the enemies in the same weird voices we heard in the ad above. We were doing this at a wake as people wept and grieved, completely oblivious. I do remember feeling the occasional pang of guilt but then, ooh look, Dodongos dislike smoke!

I’ve played almost every Zelda game ever for each system Nintendo’s put out over the years. (I think of myself as a Nintendo man the way some people think of themselves as Ford or Chevy men.) And while I’ve enjoyed many of them–particularly the ones put out for Nintendo 64 like The Ocarina of Time–the original remains my favorite, and I think not just for nostalgic reasons.

Zelda is one of those rare instances where subsequent advances in graphics and technology didn’t make the fun of the original pale in comparison. In retrospect, it seems not simplistic or cartoonish, but minimalist–if you can call something that requires to much time to play minimalist. It had exactly as much detail and complication as it needed, no more, no less.

I spent hundreds of hours playing the original NES games, but Zelda is the only one of them I can imagine myself wasting so much time on now. It’s one of the few I can imagine kids nowadays playing, too, because it is one of the few that wouldn’t look paleolithic to the gamer of today.

I am also sure that when I shuffle off this mortal coil, there will be a bunch of kids saying TEKTITES at my wake. Clearly, karma demands it.

Chris Elliott on the Best Show – TONIGHT!

I usually shy away from topical announcements on this site, particularly for events that are occurring within a 24-hour window. However, I did so a while ago when one of my comedy heroes, Martin Short, appeared on The Best Show on WFMU. So I feel duty bound to do it again, because on tonight’s installment, host Tom Scharpling will share the airwaves with Chris Elliott.

Good god, I love Chris Elliott. The mere mention of his name brings a smile to my face. His appearances on David Letterman basically invented the Late Night Talk Show. Without Chris Elliott, whither Conan O’Brien? Nither, I say.

For Get a Life alone, he deserves to be bronzed and placed atop a comedy pedestal. Get a Life was like the Velvet Underground of comedy nerd-dom. Few people watched it, but everyone who did went on to do amazing things. Oh, and I watched it, too.

If you haven’t seen Eagleheart, Elliott’s new Adult Swim show, get on it. It’s basically Walker: Texas Ranger starring him as an ass-kicking, name-taking marshall, and is every bit as great as that premise implies.

To hear him be awesome on the radio tonight, tune into 91.1 on your dial at 9pm sharp. Or if you’re not in the NY area, go to WFMU.org to listen over the interwebs. DO IT.

When Life Gives You Ponzi Schemes, Make Ponzi-Ade

I have not written much about the Mets/Bernie Madoff cluster-hump on this site, or elsewhere, for a number of reasons. The biggest one is, I don’t know what to think about the whole mess. My feelings veer between terror and boredom, like it’s a movie about Zombie Accountants.

Also, I like to think I know a lot of stuff on a wide variety of subjects, but when it comes to finance, I’m lost without a map. (First clue of this fact: That I write way too much for for a site that actually costs me money to run.) I’m sure this affair will drag on for years, with many more revelations and finger pointing and lawsuits to come, so there will be no shortage of opportunities to pen something on the subject.

Plus, I am so sick of sordid items coming out about this team. If it’s not Ponzi schemes, it’s shirt-ripping front office guys or grampa-punching closers. When it comes to my favorite baseball team, it’d be nice to write about, you know, baseball.

metsmadoff.pngBut, if you are inclined to look at the lighter side of the biggest investment fraud in American history, and are also a Mets fan, you might want to consider purchasing one of the shirts pictured here. They can be found over at metsmadoff.blogspot.com, and are the perfect way to display both your support of and disgust with the team from Flushing.

I enjoy the shirts’ semi-distressed look, which in the makers’ words are supposed to evoke “that old Mets shirt you’ve had since the 80s and have washed several hundred times.” I also like the particular blue they’ve chosen, which reminds me of the kind used in the late 1990s unis. (Watch the first Subway Series game from 1997 on Mets Classics to get an idea of what I mean.)

I’ve been told the demand has been overwhelming for these shirts thus far, and that the creators already had to order a new batch. So get yours while you still can, or before some litigious team official takes notice. Sleeve tats optional.