Monthly Archives: December 2008

Morning Bites

Morning Bites: 12.18.08

* Today’s Daily News features a photo gallery of band reunions. I was intrigued by this line on the first slide:

New Kids on the Block are back together and there are fresh rumors of a Smiths reunion!

And in one breath, the Daily News puts NKOTB and The Smiths on the same level. One stands among the most influential groups of the last 30 years, and the other made pre-teen girls scream until another boy band came along. Looks about the same to me!

People don’t actually like New Kids on the Block. It’s just nostalgia for lost youth, that completely innocent time known as the late 80s. Ollie North, Iran Contra, Manuel Noriega, the crack epidemic–things were simpler then.

They also have section on bands they wish would reform. Some predictable choices (Talking Heads) some interesting ones (Blur, Pavement), and one that made me do a double take: Faith No More. *ageddaageda* Huh?!

There had to be one insane Faith No More fan in the Daily News web dept. who lobbied and lobbied and lobbied until the editors finally caved. Because this text is totally written by a devoted fan, the kind who runs his own SIGN THIS PETITION TO GET FNM BACK TOGETHER fansite:

Faith No More’s nu-metal sound may have inspired bands like Korn and
Limp Bizkit – but they were so much more than that. Their repertoire is
as diverse as it gets: They play metal in the tradition of Slayer, but
could also rival the smooth vocals of in the very next song. They
pushed the boundaries. They need to get back together. Indie rock is
stale.

If you asked the members of Faith No More, I’m sure they’d disavow any responsibility for Korn or Limp Bizkit.

It would be kinda awesome of Faith No More reunited. Because you know that all these old metalheads would go to see them do “Epic” and “We Care A Lot,” and Mike Patton would probably bring John Zorn on stage and make the band plow through a 60 minute skronk-fest that would make Mr. Bungle look like The Monkees. I would pay to see that.

Also, go to slide 9 to see a pic of Phil Collins almost getting killed by a light stanchion. Seriously, Daily News, that was the best picture of Genesis you could find?

* Speaking of Mike Patton, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen him and Rahzel do their rendition of Iron Man.

See? Now you’ve lived.

The Funny

Newbridge is for Lovers

gorch.jpgNow that I’ve written a snotty and spiteful post about comedy, I feel it my duty to balance my Prose Karma and dedicate some energy to the righteous of the world.

As readers of this site know, I get Comedic Man-Crushes about bi-yearly. When they overcome me, I become a maniacal evangelist for my beloved’s cause: burning CDs of their best stuff for friends, reciting lines to my endlessly patient wife, carving their names into telephone poles.

This goes all the way back to my childhood, when I used to recite Peanuts comic strips and Monty Python routines into a tape recorder. I still have no idea why I did this; something just compelled me, as if performing my favorite pieces would make me funny by osmosis. I went so far as to enlist one or both my brothers to play opposite me as the pet shop owner in the Dead Parrot Sketch, or flesh out the Mountie chorus for the Lumberjack Sketch.

If those tapes ever surface–well, it’ll just confirm the dorkitude I profess on this site on a daily basis. However, I digress. Today I write of the latest heart on my Trapper Keeper cover: The Best Show on WFMU.

Continue reading Newbridge is for Lovers →

Morning Bites

Morning Bites: 12.17.08

* The cover of today’s Daily News expresses outrage that Governor Patterson is considering taxing iTunes downloads (among other things). I’m surprised it’s taken the state government this long to consider that as a revenue stream. Also, how is that tax assessed–if you buy an mp3 while using a NY-based IP address, or if you’re a NY resident anywhere buying an mp3? If the former, couldn’t I just drive to Jersey to download, say, Scott Weiland’s new solo masterpiece?

But what amused me even more about this cover was that it features a close up on an iPod, and the iPod is playing Hot Chip. Because you know that the editor-in-chief said, “Oh no, I’m not paying for a photo from Getty! Find someone in the office who’s got one of them things! Look in the steno pool if you have to!”

Continue reading Morning Bites: 12.17.08 →