Tag Archives: factory wrapped douches

Stamped

Posted on January 25, 2012 by

Of the remaining GOP presidential hopefuls, Newt Gingrich has the ugliest soul. Rick Santorum possesses some vile views on gay rights and abortion (like thinking rape victims who get pregnant should just accept this “gift from god”), but he seems … Read on! —->

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Posted in Pointless Nostalgia, Politics Schmolitics | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Bless You, Random Vandal

Posted on September 16, 2011 by

If you follow my Twitter feed, you know that the one team I truly, deeply hate is the Florida Marlins. There are other teams I dislike at various times for various reasons, but the Marlins are the only one who … Read on! —->

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Tony LaRussa Shall Not Be Mocked

Posted on August 4, 2011 by

Do you hear those insolent fans, Yadier? Yes, sire. I believe that’s the local custom of “giving you the business.” I care not a whit for what these barbarians call it in their vulgar dialect. They’re mocking me, Yadier. Me! … Read on! —->

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Wilkommen, Bienvenue, John Boehner

Posted on July 27, 2011 by

You want to know why I’m willing to risk sending America into the economic abyss? It’s because I made a promise to Grover Norquist I would never vote to raise taxes or the debt limit. I know I’ve done both … Read on! —->

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Why LeBronenfreude Is Okay

Posted on June 14, 2011 by

As much as I wanted the Mavericks beat the Heat, I also dreaded it, because I knew it would bring out the holiest of the holier-than-thous in the sportswriting racket, ready to leap all over LeBron James because he had … Read on! —->

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Posted in Basketball | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

A One-Way Street

Posted on May 17, 2011 by

Recently, I was reiterating my pet theories on city traffic. I was reiterating them to my wife, because I’m sure she loves hearing me say the same thing a million times. I’ve held for a very long time that, of … Read on! —->

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America Owes Curt Schilling

Posted on May 3, 2011 by

If you ask me, we did not deal with Osama bin Laden’s body properly. What, nobody asked me? Whatever, never stopped me before. From top to bottom, this operation was handled all wrong. Look, I know these were Navy SEALs, … Read on! —->

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Trump vs. Romney: The Unfair Fight

Posted on April 18, 2011 by

Of course I’m a better presidential candidate than Mitt Romney. Why? Because I have more money than he does. It’s simple math, people. More money equals better than. And before you tell me that’s from an old Mr. Show sketch, … Read on! —->

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A Million Little Pieces of Crap

Posted on November 15, 2010 by

I’ve been writing fiction for a really long time, though not without hiatus. I occasionally go through crises of faith with it, because both market-wise and creatively, this is probably one of the worst periods for fiction in America, possibly … Read on! —->

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Tim Profitt: Someone Should Put a Stop to Me!

Posted on October 27, 2010 by

I apologize for stepping on a MoveOn.og volunteer’s head at the recent Senate debate in Kentucky. I stepped over the line, repeatedly, and also thought that line was printed on a woman’s face. I would like to add, though, that … Read on! —->

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