Monthly Archives: March 2010

Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2010 MLB Preview: NL East

Posted on March 31, 2010 by

ATLANTA BRAVES 2009 record: 86-76 Local weather: Hotter than the devil’s drawers, suh! /sips mint julep Namesake: Valiant Native American warriors like Chief Noc-a-homa What will Bobby Cox do after he retires?: I don’t know, but for his wife’s sake, … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Baseball | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2010 MLB Preview: NL Central

Posted on March 30, 2010 by

CHICAGO CUBS 2009 record: 83-78 Local weather: If you don’t like it, just wait a minute!* (* joke stolen from your grampa) Namesake: The smaller partner in a “bear” relationship Has it really been 102 years since they won a … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Baseball | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Re: Fridge Cleaning

Posted on March 29, 2010 by

From: Human Resources (hr@technotek.com) To: All_Staff (staff@technotek.com) Re: Fridge Cleaning Just a heads up that we’ve scheduled a fridge cleaning in the fourth floor kitchen this weekend. The cleaning staff will throw out any unmarked food, so if you want … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Life In These United States, The Funny | Tagged | Leave a comment

Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2010 MLB Preview: NL West

Posted on March 29, 2010 by

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS 2009 record: 70-92 Local weather: Ball-meltingly hot Namesake: Venemous rattlesnake responsible for the majority of fatal snakebites in northern Mexico, thus explaining why the Diamondbacks are Lou Dobbs’ favorite team. Do they really play for the entire state … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Baseball | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Reminder: You Make the Call!

Posted on March 26, 2010 by

Last week, I posted a question to the general public about what baseball-related horrible waste of time I should work on this upcoming season. And the response has been underwhelming! Thus far, The Parallel Universe Fake Mets have the lead, … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Baseball | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

YouTubery Friday: Celebrity Endorsements

Posted on March 26, 2010 by

It’s Friday! Procrastinate and count down to happy hour with these lovely bits! On this week’s edition of The Best Show on WFMU, host Tom Scharpling asked listeners to share their favorite/least favorite celebrity commercials. A few gems were uncovered, … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Videocracy | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Let Us Now Praise Famous Schmoozers

Posted on March 26, 2010 by

Because of my well-documented dislike of the zeppelin-sized Mike Francesa, I often use his home station–WFAN–as a byword for sports talk idiocy. But all is not lost on the self proclaimed New York’s #1. Well, most of it is lost … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Sports | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Mets Fanwalk of Shame

Posted on March 26, 2010 by

Mets management has, amazingly, heard and heeded some complaints from fans. Responding to a lack of Met-itude at CitiField, the team is working on a number of enhancements to give the new stadium more of a personality and sense of … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Baseball | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Tenets of Boehner-Care

Posted on March 25, 2010 by

As threats against Democratic Congressmen mount across the country, I get asked the same question over and over: John, isn’t that awesome? Yes, it is very awesome. I also get asked another question: Why don’t you say speak out against … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Politics Schmolitics | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Olympics of the Mind Meets Freedom of Drunken Speech

Posted on March 23, 2010 by

When I was in fourth grade, I was in something called Olympics of the Mind, a competition for future nerds and theatre people. This organization still exists, but at some point, it was forced to change the first word in … Read on! —->

Share
Posted in Basketball, Pointless Nostalgia | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment