I wasted at least a dozen people’s time this weekend discussing the bizarreness of this ad. So allow me to waste your time, too, won’t you?

Perhaps you’ve seen Budweiser’s latest ad campaign. In it, a man who appears to be a Bud employee schools various beer consumers on the finer points of Bud’s brewing process. “Lager Lessons” if you will. Which you will, since that’s what Bud is calling them.

I’m not sure who this ad campaign is intended to sway. Beer snobs will poke holes in their claims. You know, like how Bud brews their beer with rice, not because it adds any unique flavor, but because it’s stupid cheap.

Everyone else won’t give two doodies about their brewing process. Budweiser’s slogan should be, Hey, you’ve been drinkin’ it since high school–why stop now?

But there’s one ad in particular that has me scratchin’ me noggin. In it, we see two schlubs bring their beer purchases to a convenience store checkout. Their six pack holders have no names, but based on their color schemes, we’re meant to understand that they’re Miller Lite and Heineken.

The Loyal Bud Employee says, “Oh, it’s 3 o’clock. You know what 3 o’clock is, don’t you?” He then rattles of Bud’s impressive daily inspection process, which shames them into changing their beers for Bud. Because as well know, Budweiser is the only brewer who actually inspects their beer. Every other brewing company lets rats and dogs swim around in their vats.

But as the two schlubs leave the counter to exchange their choice of beer, the convenience store clerk/owner/whatever says “You’re veddy good!” (because of course the convenience store guy is Indian)

My question is, Why does the convenience store guy care what beer the schlubs buy? Maybe if they were going to buy smaller craft brews he’d care, since presumably he’d make less of a profit on those. Poor guy probably loses a couple cents every time he sells a sixer of Sierra Nevada.

But since the schlubs originally intended to buy other Big-Ass Beers like Miller Lite, what’s the difference between that and Bud to this owner guy? It should mean pretty much the same amount of dough in his pocket, unless he owns stock in InBev.

It’s not even that horrible a commercial, particularly by Budweiser standards. I just don’t get it. Am I missing something? If so, please inform me, gentle reader.