Speaking of commutes, my morning trip to work involves a lengthy walk once I de-bus. And on my way to the office, I saw a car with several hats in the back window. One of them said ALLENDALE TEQUILA TEAM.

My first thought was, Does this belong to a contestant on Tool Academy? But it was a Honda Civic, and I picture guys from that show driving souped-up Camaros with spinny rims and purple neon around the license plate.

So who could this car possibly belong to? It has to be the kind of person who (1) would actually purchase such a hat, or accept it as a gift from someone, and (2) be so proud of it that they’d display it in their car, and (3) be dumb enough to not think twice about such a move.

Because that’s totally what you want cops to see while you’re driving: an article of clothing in your car that says THERE’S A BETTER THAN 50% CHANCE THIS GUY’S DRUNK RIGHT NOW. I can’t see any way that could lead to you getting pulled over.

Because there are many alcoholic beverages that can be appreciated without inebriation, but tequila is not one of them. If you’re drinking tequila, you have one goal: getting sloshed. And if you have a hat advertising your membership in a TEQUILA TEAM, that further implies that you are extremely dedicated to getting effed up as much as possible.

I almost wanted to stick around and wait for this guy to get back to his car. But either he would be exactly what I think he is–some fat mess in a sweatshirt that says SHIT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PARTY NAKED–or a hipster who put the hat their for its ironic value. Best to marvel at the sight and move on.