Tag Archives: spring training

Baseball

The Stellar Research of New York’s Number 1

fran1.jpgWelcome bu-HACK to The Mike Francesa Program, New York’s Number 1, coming to you live from Port St. Lucie, where spring training has begin. The period called spring training is upon us. The time of year generally referred to by most baseball fans as spring training is here. Something has started to occur down here in Florida, and that thing I’m referring to is spring training. I’m at Mets camp, where apparently they’re preparing for the upcoming season, rather than throwing in the towel by Opening Day as I suggested. My first guest on the program is a fifth starter candidate and a promising young pitcher, Jon Niese.

niese.jpgThanks for having me on the show, Mike.

fran1.jpgLet me ask you a question, Jon. Didn’t you have some sort of injury or something last year?

niese.jpgUm, yeah, I did. Tore a hamstring pretty bad. Couldn’t you have just looked that up before the interview?

fran1.jpgWhere would I have looked it up, the internet? I don’t trust those calculator things. They got viruses and cookies in ’em. Now, let me ask you something else: Are you a lefty or a righty?

niese.jpgI’m a lefty. Any other questions you want to ask me that could’ve been answered by the back of my baseball card?

fran1.jpgYes, as a matter of fact. With Damon and Matsui gone, do you think the Yankee lineup will be as explosive as it was last year? How do you think Granderson’s gonna do in his first year in pinstripes?

niese.jpgTo be honest, I haven’t given the Yankees’ question marks much thought, since they won the World Series last year and I don’t play for them. I’ve been concentrating on breaking into the starting rotation and recovering from a horrific injury.

fran1.jpgDon’t get testy with me, young man. This is how it works, son. I’m the number one host on the Mets’ flagship radio station, and I’m here in Port St. Lucie visiting your team. Of course I have to talk about the Yankees!

niese.jpgYou do that. I gotta go stand over here for a while
/leaves

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Baseball

2010 Mets: No Matter Who Wins, We Lose

I promise/hope this will be my last serious post on baseball for the season. Because funny ha-ha pieces are much better for this site, I think. And my soul.

santana_st_2010.jpgEarlier today, I saw a fellow Mets fan tweet that the Vegas over/under for Mets wins this year is 89. The only NL team with a higher line is the Phillies, who are set at 89.5, and the next highest is the Diamondbacks, with 85.5.

Upon reading this, my first reaction was excitement. I’d sign up for 89 wins right now (as Mad Dog Russo often said; he may still say it, but nobody listens to him anymore). Of course, when Vegas sets lines, they do so to stir up action. That’s why they release MLB over/under lines the week when spring training begins, hoping to capitalize on fan excitement.

Setting the Mets at 89 means Vegas believes one of two things: (1) they hope the team isn’t that good, but the surprisingly high number of 89 will excite gullible, optimistic fans to bet the over; or (2) they think the team might win even more games, but hope enough people will remember the stumbling, bumbling Mets from last year and bet the under.

My own experience, plus the events of recent seasons, told me that Mets fans are a pessimistic bunch. Ironically, this led me to believe that option (2) was more likely than (1), which in turn got me excited like the dumb, dumb man that I am.

And then I thought to myself, Do I even want the Mets to have a good year? Could that be the worst thing possible for them, in the long term?
Continue reading 2010 Mets: No Matter Who Wins, We Lose →

Baseball

Yankees Begin Hell Week in Florida

girardi2.jpgTAMPA–Pitchers and catchers have reported to the Yankees’ spring training facility, an annual tradition known affectionately as Hell Week. Prospects and new acquisitions alike report bright and early to endure the humiliation necessary to join America’s most storied franchise.

“Drop and gimme 50, pussy!” growled manager Joe Girardi as he caught sight of new Yankee Curtis Granderson. The outfielder did as he was told, while also downing a Jagermeister shot after each rep.

“This team isn’t just about partying, okay?” Girardi told reporters as he popped the collar to his brand new Ed Hardy-designed uniform. “It’s about leadership, brotherhood, dedication. And I won’t have a buncha homos messing all that shit up.”

Girardi then instructed young catcher Jesus Montero to finish off a bottle of Goldschlager, followed by three laps around the diamond while balancing a rake on his head.

“That’s what makes the Yankees so great, traditions like this,” said team captain Derek Jeter. “I remember when I came up in 1996, Cecil Fielder told me I had to eat an entire package of hot dog rolls and chug a six-pack of Bud in five minutes or else clean his toilet with my tongue. I, um, I could only get down seven rolls.”

“Winning is a habit, losing is a disease,” said Girardi, as he gave a wedgie to beat reporter Tyler Kepner. “How do you vaccinate yourself against losing? By WINNING. That’s why I changed my number. It used to be 27, but we won our 27th championship last year. So now I’m number 347. Because that’s how many World Series trophies we’re gonna win. This year.

“And anyone who says that’s impossible, I say you better shut yer dick-suckin fairy holes and MAKE IT HAPPEN. Because I create winners here, not gay-queers.”

The Hell Week tradition has been in place since spring training of 1956, when Mickey Mantle, Whitey Ford, and Billy Martin forced all newcomers to drink their weight in Old Smuggler. But it has come under fire in recent years, particularly in 2004, when a hazing ritual rendered new Yankee Alex Rodriguez blind for much of the season and subsequent playoffs.