So now da Mets have officially made Sandy Alderson deir new general manager. I’ve been saying dis is gonna happen for months now. I’ve been sayin dis was gonna happen before dey even hired Omah Minaya. Dat’s how good my sawces are, okay?

I know some a you Mets fans are a little nervous, thinkin this is just ownaship sellin you a bill a goods again. Luckily, I’m here to sniff out the truth. I’m probably the biggest crusader for transparency and honesty since Edward R. Murrow. And I barely know who dat is!

So joinin me on the phone right now is da new GM of the New York Mets, Sandy Alderson. Sandy, you’re on New Yawk’s numbah one.

Number one what?

Take your pick. I got three numbah ones, Sandy. Maybe da Wilpons didn’t tell you dat yet, but that’s one a da first things you gotta learn in dis town.

Thank you for teaching me.

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