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Baseball

Omar Minaya’s Master Class in Throwing Gasoline on a Fire

omar2.jpgI’ve called this press conference to discuss recent actions by our VP for player relations, Tony Bernazard. But I’m not just going to announce his dismissal and take a few questions. No, that would be far too simple for this organization. So strap yourselves in and put your helmets on, folks. I’m gonna take you on Omar’s Wild Ride! The forecast calls for scattered patches of KUH-RAZY!

What Tony did was inexcusable and an embarrassment to this team. It was so embarrassing that I puzzled over his actions for hours, and wondered to myself, “How could I possibly make this incident even more embarrassing?”

And then it hit me: Why not slander a beat reporter? Oh Omar, you’ve done it again!

Our fans have come to expect no less from the Mets under my leadership. For some fanbases, the last three seasons of crushing losses and bitter disappointment would be enough. But Mets fans know that that no underachieving season is complete without some heaping fistfuls of salt rubbed right in their wounds.

I guess I’m just one of those people who sees things as they should be and says, “Why not?” Granted, not every incident has to turn this organization into an even bigger joke than it already is. Negative press is a lot minor league prospects: only a very few of them will ever turn out to be clusterfucks of epic proportions.

But why not reach for the stars? Why not try to make every mention of the Mets in the media a total kick in the dick for their fans?

For instance, when the time came to fire Willie Randolph, I knew I couldn’t simply give him his pink slip and send him on his way. No, I knew he had to be dismissed after the first game of a long West Coast swing, at 3 in the morning NY time. How better to disrespect a beloved former player and piss off the New York press corps at the same time?

And when Ryan Church suffered his second concussion of the season last year, any GM could have just sent him home to recover. No! It took a man of my leadership and skill to insist he remain with the team during a lengthy road trip, flying on planes, doing god knows what to his damaged melon and rendering him even more of offensive enigma!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to prepare for our next promotion: the first 20,00 fans at tomorrow’s game receive a manila envelope containing the deepest, darkest secrets of their most treasured Mets heroes!

Didn’t you love Buddy Harrelson and Ed Kranepool back in 1969? You won’t, after you hear what they did during a series in Chicago that year. The details would turn any decent human’s stomach.

No need to thank me, fans!

1999 Project

1999 Project: Games 63-65

Click here for an intro/manifesto on The 1999 Project.

June 14, 1999: Reds 8, Mets 4

The opener of the Mets’ second series of the year at the former Riverfront Stadium (then called Cinergi Field) was notable mostly for an odd attempt at gamesmanship by Reds manager Jack McKeon. When reliever Pat Mahomes came on to pitch the bottom of the seventh, McKeon protested to the umpires that the lefty was wearing an orange undershirt, technically not part of the Mets’ uniform. Mahomes was forced to change his undershirt to the standard issue black (lacking quick access to a black tee of his own, he borrowed one from a trainer).

Bobby Valentine bristled after the game. He recalled how, when the two teams met at Shea earlier in the year, McKeon made Jason Isringhausen darken some white lettering on his glove. “When I do it, it’s ridiculous acts of something and when he does it, it’s one-upmanship?” Valentine told reporters after the game. “I think it’s ridiculous, personally. It’s nonsense. I haven’t seen it do any good yet. It’s just a waste of time.”

McKeon needn’t have bothered. By the time he tried his sartorial distraction, Turk Wendell had already given up a three-run homer to Aaron Boone that put the game away for Cincinnati.

99_0615.pngJune 15, 1999: Mets 11, Reds 3

This game saw the Mets put on their biggest power display in 11 years. Rickey Henderson, John Olerud, and Mike Piazza all homered off of Brett Tomko in the first inning before an out was recorded to give themselves a 4-0 lead. New York clubbed six homers in total (including shots by Edgardo Alfonzo, Matt Franco, and one more from Henderson) and cruised to an easy victory.

The six homers tied a team record set on Opening Day 1988 in Montreal, when Darryl Strawberry and Kevin McReynolds each went deep twice, and Lenny Dykstra and Kevin Elster hit solo shots. Henderson’s leadoff shot was the 74th of his career, a major league record Rickey had extended yet again. “It’s brilliant, isn’t it?” he rhetorically asked reporters after the game.

Rick Reed made sure the offense held up, pitching eight innings, allowing only two runs, and striking out five. The performance was even more remarkable after Reed reported blood in his urine the day before (he felt like he was “pissing razor blades”, according to a surprisingly graphic report in the Daily News). Whatever had troubled Reed in the bathroom, it didn’t bother him on the mound.

Valentine wished the offensive explosion had waited one day. After the game, he found out the appeal of his two-game suspension for costumed hi-jinks was shot down by MLB officials. His enforced absence would begin the next day.

June 16, 1999: Mets 5, Reds 2

Coach Bruce Benedict piloted the Mets in Valentine’s absence and oversaw a mostly drama-free victory. Masato Yoshii pitched six solid innings, the offense notched six doubles (two each for Piazza and Henderson), Robin Ventura hit a solo homer, and John Franco pitched a 1-2-3 ninth for his sixteenth save.

Valentine watched the game from the press level, wearing a checkered jacket and tie that reminded Piazza of old Philadelphia A’s manager Connie Mack. Though he felt helpless away from the dugout, he had little to worry about, save for when Brian McRae tried to stretch a single into a double and banged his knee on the bag. Despite the slight injury, McRae stayed in the game.

Meanwhile, the Daily News continued its weirdly detailed coverage of Rick Reed’s urinary trouble. Reed reported passing a small stone and said he felt much better.

Back in New York, Community Board 13 told the Mets they could build a minor league stadium in Coney Island if city officials also okayed a long-promised “Sportsplex” arena for the neighborhood, which would provide more year-round jobs than a ballpark. Hardy Adasko, president of the Economic Development Corp., stressed there was no “package deal” for a stadium-slash-Sportsplex.

1999 Project

1999 Project: July 10–Mets 9, Yankees 8

Click here for an intro/manifesto on The 1999 Project.

mattfranco.pngI’m going out of order with the 1999 Project for today because (a) I am woefully off pace, and (b) it’s my stupid project and I can do what I want.

Also, as today’s post at Faith and Fear in Flushing reminded me, today is the tenth anniversary of the infamous, glorious, monstrous and righteous Matt Franco Game. Greg Prince’s post consists of nothing more than a transcription of Gary Cohen’s call of the last play of the game, rendered in e.e. cummings-esque free verse form. Which is perfect, because this game was poetry.

If I told you that the Yankees hit six home runs off of Mets pitching, and that Mariano Rivera came in to close out the game, you’d assume the Yankees won. As Mets Walkoffs pointed out, when you hit six (or more) home runs in a game, you tend to win. In the last 50 years, teams that hit at least six homers are 214-15. Add in the threat of the Sandman, and that sounds like a Yankee victory to any sane person.

But this was not a sane game.

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