Tag Archives: mets

Baseball

Omar’s Reminder

omar2.jpgI’ve had this string on my index finger for so long now, I can’t remember when I put it on! In fact, I even forgot it was there until this morning, and I saw it in the mirror while I was shaving. Weird, huh? For the life of me, I can’t remember what it’s supposed to remind me of. Let me think, let me think…

I think I put this string on right after the season ended. So maybe this was supposed to tell me to do something for the team. Was it to remind me to bid against myself for a slugging outfielder? Nope, did that.

Was it to overpay for a bunch of spare parts? No, I took care of that.

Was it to trade for a terrible fifth outfielder we didn’t need? No, I just wrapped that up.

It was something like…switcher? Was I supposed to switch something? No, it just sounded like switcher. But there’s no other word that sounds like switcher, right? Maybe it just sort of sounds like it. Nick Swisher? James Michener? David Fincher?

This is getting me nowhere. Boy, I’m thirsty. I could use a cool drink. Say, Darlene? Could you bring in some water when you have a chance? Like, a lot of it. A whole pitcher, if you can. On second thought, make it two pitchers. I could use two solid pitchers.

Where was I? Oh yes, I was trying to remember what this string was supposed to remind me of. Ugh, this is gonna bug me all day.

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter: Mini-Camp

Thanks to confluence of various time-crunching factors, I was unable to post my week-daily Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter story yesterday. So to make up for it, we’ll have a doubleheader today.

My first post will be short but sweet. The Mets have a mini-camp this week, with players like Johan Santana, Oliver Perez, and Daniel Murphy in attendance. What is a mini-camp? I don’t really know, but it seems a lot like high school gym class warmup exercises.

So a small portion of the Mets are in Florida, stretching, long tossing, and doing other calisthenics that only vaguely resemble baseball. At this point in the winter, it’s close enough for me.

johan_minicamp_10.jpg

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter

The Buck Stops Just Before Omar

beltran.jpgHey Omar, can we talk?
minaya.jpgSure thing, Carlos. How’s that knee?
beltran.jpgThat’s what I want to talk to you about. I spoke to you about this surgery earlier this week, and I thought everything was cool.
minaya.jpgYeah, definitely, sounds like something I’d say.
beltran.jpgBut today, your assistant GM made it sound as if I went behind your back to do this. What the fuck?! If you had some problem with how this went down, why didn’t we just handle it internally? Why did you go after me in public, by proxy, and make me and everyone else on this team look bad?

minaya.jpgI didn’t go after you, Carlos, my assistant GM did. But it’s clear that somebody pulled a real choke job here on the whole communication thing, and we’ll take care of that ASAP. Right after we work out that 7-year extension for Bengie Molina.

beltran.jpgYou’re responsible for this whole mess! Why are you talking like it’s somebody else’s fault?!

minaya.jpgCarlos, you’ve never been in charge of a multimillion-dollar operation…
beltran.jpgI am a multimillion-dollar operation…
minaya.jpg…so you don’t understand how this works. I am not responsible for the Mets. I am in charge of the Mets. Being in charge is not the same thing as being responsible.
beltran.jpgYou’re right, I don’t understand.
minaya.jpgYou see, people who are responsible are held responsible for their actions. If I were responsible for things, I would’ve been fired a long time ago. Remember that time we assed away a postseason berth in the last month of the season?
beltran.jpgYeah, that happened two years in a row.
minaya.jpgReally? I have no memory of it happening two times. Then again, there was that one season where I took a lot of naps. You see, Carlos, only schmucks are responsible for things. Men are in charge. Men lead. They lead by standing there, immobile, staring straight ahead while their ship runs aground.
beltran.jpgHow do you get to be in charge?
minaya.jpgYou thrust yourself ahead blindly, like a bull in a china shop, barreling all your competitors out of your path. Other guys in charge will admire your spunk and grit and determination, and they won’t care that you have no idea what you’re doing, because they don’t know what they’re doing either, and they’re afraid to have anyone too smart or principled around them to make them look bad in comparison.
beltran.jpgWell, unlike you, my job is based on performance. In the big leagues, you can’t fail upwards and hope to be rewarded.
minaya.jpgYou can’t? I assume you’ve met Oliver Perez.
ollie.jpgDID SUMBODEE TAKE MY FUNYUNS BECUZ I CAN’T FIND THEMM