“Fried pizza: one bite and you’ll actually hear your arteries scream in horror!”

What’s more amazing: the fact that fried pizza exists, or the fact that this pic was taken in Brooklyn and not the Jersey Shore? As Tom Scharpling once said, when you go to the Jersey Shore, they just assume whatever you want, you want it fried.

If you told someone from Naples that there was a place in America named after their city that sold deep-fried pizza, they’d probably beat you to death, just on general principle.

Who do we have to thank for deep fried pizza? The British, of course, the same people who brought you deep-fried Mars bars and deep-fried mac and cheese. Apparently deep-fried pizza is a popular chip shop snack over there. I know Masterpiece Theatre makes us think the English are all sophisticated and proper, but trust me, they have a junk culture over there that makes American pop garbage look like the Algonquin Round Table.

I’m not sure why a place that specializes in British junk food is in a Puerto Rican neighborhood. But the joint is in a prime location, right down the block from Woodhull Hospital. So you’re within walking distance of the ER for the inevitable stomach pumping that will follow.