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Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2011 MLB Preview: AL West

LOS ANGELES ANGELS

2010 record: 80-82

Biggest offseason acquisition: The “s” in Kendrys Morales’ first name

Biggest offseason loss: Every free agent

Are we finally over joking about the whole “Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim” thing?: Not as long as sports writers confuse themselves with comedians.

Best name on 40-man roster: Loek Van Mil, one of the most overlooked of the Dutch Masters.

The That Guy’s on This Team? Award: The previously untradeable Vernon Wells.

Spring standout: Farmhand Mark Trumbo, with 5 homers and 13 RBIs this spring thus far.  Scouts praise his batting skills but criticize him for his unwillingness to name names.

Probable Opening Day starter: Jered Weaver, who is this close to asking his brother Jeff to stop crashing on his couch and go get a real job.

Biggest question for 2011: Seriously, they traded for Vernon Wells?

Strengths: Good corps of starting pitchers, easy on/off to all highways

Weaknesses: No one wants to play in Orange County, apparently

Semi-serious assessment: The Angels suffered an almost Mets-ian string of freak injuries in 2010, the Kendry(s) Morales walkoff fiasco being the most infamous. For some reason, they could woo no free agent suitors to come to Anaheim, and so they traded for Wells and his insane contract. They’re already experiencing a string of bad luck this spring on the fronts of injuries (Morales, Joel Pineiro) and performance (Scott Kazmir). Their chances to improve on last year’s record remain slim.
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Baseball

Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2010 MLB Preview: AL West

scioscia.jpgANAHEIM ANGELS

2009 record: 97-65, AL West title, lost Championship Series to Yankees

Local weather: Suburban

Namesake: Theatre investors. Ziegfeld’s in the house tonight, everyone!

How much does Angels owner Arte Moreno look like a Walt Disney?: A disturbingly large amount.

Perpetually overused team-related
headline: Angels in the Outfield. Lame, but at least it gives work to Christopher Lloyd.

Best name on 40-man roster: Maicer Izturis. I hate maicers to paicers!

The That Guy’s on This Team? Award: Hideki Matsui, whose salary should offset the cost of transporting his enormous porn collection from New York.

Spring standout: Catcher Mike Napoli, who’s clubbed 5 homers this spring and is in no way connected to The Mob. I don’t know why you’d think that. That’s racist.

Probable Opening Day starter: Jered Weaver, who looks just as baked as his brother, but is much more employed.

Biggest question for 2010: What tragic death will inspire the Angels this year?

Advantage to start the season: Insane Orange County traffic will prevent anyone from actually attending the games.

Semi-serious assessment: I was amazed to see that the Angels won 97 games last year. I think that result will be impossible to reproduce this year, as Seattle has improved by leaps and bounds. They lost John Lackey and added Joel Pineiro, who I predict will turn back into a pumpkin like most Dave Duncan projects do away from St. Louis. This year’s Angels have taken a step backward–not an enormous one, but not small enough to stave off the huge step forward taken by the Mariners.
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