ATLANTA BRAVES
2010 record: 91-71, won wild card, lost division series to Giants
Biggest offseason acquisition: Dan Uggla, whose last name perfectly describes his powerful home run swing. And his fielding.
Biggest offseason loss: Closer Billy Wagner, now retired. Fuckin’ shocker.
How will the Braves deal with their first season without Bobby Cox since 1990?: Thanks to their talent and new manager Fredi Gonzalez, the team will be more than fine. I’d be more worried about Mrs. Cox.
Best name on 40-man roster: Jairo Asencio. You want white sauce and hot sauce with that?
The That Guy’s on This Team? Award: Scott Proctor, who still has something resembling a human arm left after working in a Joe Torre bullpen.
Spring standout: Brandon Beachy has pitched to a 1.13 ERA, assuring himself the fifth spot in the rotation and many dumb puns on his name from headline writers.
Probable Opening Day starter: Tim Hudson, who continues to piss me off for reasons I can’t quite articulate.
Biggest question for 2011: Can the Braves challenge the Phillies for the division title, and if so, will anyone in Atlanta notice?
Strengths: Good young bullpen, lack of crowds at playoff games lessens pressure
Weaknesses: Chipper Jones running out of creative ways to end his season
Semi-serious assessment: As you get older, your hates fade. The white-hot rage I once felt toward the Braves has dissipated almost entirely. It helps that only one figure from the 1990s/2000s team remains (LAAAAA-REEEEE). But it’s also due to them having a team of mostly-home-grown regulars like Brian McCann and Jason Heyward who are much harder to hate than Brian Jordan and Greg Maddux ever were. That extends to the bullpen, which contains a lot of great young arms like Craig Kimbrel and Chris Medlen, with not a John Rocker in the bunch (that I know of). I foresee another wild card in their future, and if the Phillies’ injury woes continue, a division title is not as insane an outcome as it looked this winter. But do humanity a favor and lose the Tomahawk Chop, wouldja?
Continue reading Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2011 MLB Preview: NL East →
It breaks your heart.
It is designed to break your heart.
The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again,
and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings,
and then as soon as the chill rains come,
it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.
You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time,
to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive,
and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most,
it stops.
