1999 Project

1999 Project: Games 35-37

Click here for an intro/manifesto on The 1999 Project.

vetstadiumseat.jpgMay 14, 1999: Mets 7, Phillies 3

The Phillies, losers of 97 games in 1998, got off to a surprisingly competitive start in 1999: 19-14, third place in the NL East, just behind the Mets. This was especially surprising because the team cut payroll before the season ($26 million, down $2 million from the previous year) and were already rumored to be shopping ace starter Curt Schilling and/or young superstar third baseman Scott Rolen.

Yet, amid all this belt-tightening, the team also raised ticket prices by an average of 21 percent, a move that predictably caused many no-shows at the thoroughly unattractive Veteran’s Stadium. This also lead to the Phils’ openly enticing Mets fans to take the trip down the Turnpike and fill some of those empty seats.

With many of their partisans in attendance, the Mets jumped on Phillies starter Chad Ogea for four first inning runs and cruised the rest of the way. Jon Olerud’s two-run shot in that frame was only the 14th ever to reach the right field upper deck at Veteran’s Stadium. Two batters later, following a walk to Mike Piazza, Robin Ventura hit a two-run homer of his own. Edgardo Alfonzo contributed a solo shot in the third.

Roger Cedeno opened some eyes by stealing a career-high four bases. Manager Bobby Valentine seemed to think Cedeno was coming into his own. “He should go every time he gets on,” he told the Daily News. “Roger is in a groove. I don’t think they can throw him out on a pitchout.”

Masato Yoshii gave up three solo homers in his six innings of work, but little else. After coming out of spring training as a prime candidate for demotion or release, Yoshii was rounding out into the team’s most consistent starter.

May 15, 1999: Mets 9, Phillies 7

Their ace had his shortest start as a Met. Their best hitter hit into a triple play. And they begin today within striking distance of first
place.

For once, Al Leiter saved his blow-up for early in the game, ceding four runs in the first inning. The Phils tallied one more in the second and third and put the Mets in a 6-0 hole before they could blink. But Pat Mahomes, just recalled from triple-A Norfolk, pitched 2 2/3 scoreless innings, which gave his team just enough daylight to get back into the
game.

The Mets scored five runs in the top of the fourth inning, all of them plated with two outs, then tied the game on a Brian McRae solo homer in the fifth and an Alfonzo RBI single in the sixth. Shortly thereafter, Piazza killed a rally by lining into a triple play, but two more runs in the top of the ninth put the Mets ahead.

John Franco gave up a run in the bottom half but recorded the final out and his eleventh save of the season in as many chances. A Braves loss to the Cubs put the Mets a mere half game behind Atlanta for first place in the NL East.

May 16, 1999: Phillies 5, Mets 2

After being skipped for his last start, Orel Hershiser got an eye exam, hoping that his vision (and not his 40-year-old arm) was responsible for his pitching woes. He got an adjustment on his contact lens prescription, and it seemed to work through the first five innings of his start in Philly.

But the Phillies got to him for four runs in the sixth and held on for a 5-2 win to spoil the Mets’ hope for a sweep. Hershiser could comfort himself with the fact that most of the hits he gave up were of the soft variety, and three of those runs scored as a direct result of a hit that Matt Franco–playing left field for only the third time in his career–misplayed into a triple. Hershiser was also pleased that he pitched six innings for the first time that year. “You look under every rock when you’re slumping,” Hershiser told the Daily News.

The Braves’ victory put the Mets back to 1 1/2 games behind Atlanta. A Yankees win also prevented them from having the best record in the city, for however much that was
worth.

Parental Guidance

I Don’t Know Much About Art, But I Know What I Hate

The tweeting of bigplastichead alerted me to the blog Tiny Art Director. The site’s author (professional illustrator Bill Zeman) draws things he’s told to draw by his four-year-old daughter. She then critiques them as only a four-year-old girl can. Which is to say, in extremely harsh terms that make no attempt to salve her father’s feelings.

Because not even a professional illustrator can perfectly match the insane, wondrous visions that swirl around in a little kid’s head. And to a four-year-old, the reasonable response to this is to go ape-shit and erase the drawing your dad made for you at your request.

Reading this site, I alternated between delight and horror. Many of the posts were extremely funny, but a lot of them hit a little too close to home. I’ve had my 2-year-old yell at me NO, DADDY, NO! for simply looking at her when she doesn’t want me to, or scream at the top of her lungs because a DVD she wants to watch isn’t loading fast enough. “I’m sorry honey, I’ll have to speak to those bad men at Sony for not making DVD players that can be activated at the speed of a toddler’s whims.”

So to me, this site serves as a preview of what I can expect when my daughter reaches the full height of her powers of expression and snap judgment. And doesn’t like my drawing of a plane made out of poop.

Louis CK has a routine wherein he talks about the difference between little boys and little girls. To wit: Boys break things and do horribly destructive things, but they do it just to do it. It’s not personal. A boy will jump up and down on your bed and bust the boxspring, or throw all the good flatware in the microwave for a half-hour, but he won’t do it to hurt your feelings. He’s just being a jerk.

Girls, on the other hand (says Louie), will do stuff to destroy your soul. The example he gives: his older daughter broke her doll by accident, snapped the head right off. So she insisted that he break her sister’s doll in order to bring about some demented childlike sense of justice. IF I CAN’T HAVE AN INTACT DOLLY, NO ONE SHALL!

Yup, the rest of my life is gonna be FUN. Good thing I’ve lost all my hair already.

Football

Michael Vick: “I’m Gonna Take This Not Killing Dogs Thing One Day at a Time”

vick.jpgMichael Vick, the ex-NFL quarterback recently released from prison, has promised to turn over a new leaf and is already making great strides to do so. According to sources close to Vick, he did not kill a single dog during his first 24 hours of freedom.

Reporters camped outside Vick’s Hampton, Virginia home, hoping to get a glimpse of his first hours of freedom. Vick was seen greeting family and friends, eating dinner, and watching television. No muffled canine screams were discerned, nor did Vick repair to his backyard to dig any shallow graves by the light of the moon.

“It’s hard to get used to life back on the outside,” said a family friend who wished to remain anonymous. “He just got out of the joint. He’s gonna wanna do all the things he used to do. He told me that when he walked in the front door of his house, the first thing he wanted to do was sit on his couch and watch a doberman get electrocuted.

“Before he went away, he totally woulda done it, too. I really think he wants to change.”

“Some people can kill just a few dogs a day and stop,” another friend told reporters. “But if Mike’s around people who are killing dogs, he’s gonna keep on killing and killing. So we can’t be bringing our terriers around here to get their throats slit no more.

“He can’t even throw a dachshund down a flight of stairs. That’s gonna take some willpower.”

Publicly, at least, Vick has vowed to curb his impulses. “I must admit, I tried to bargain with myself,” he said at his post-release press conference. “I thought that I’d be okay if I just killed one dog a day, or if I restricted myself to killing only smaller dogs, like chihuahuas.

“But I realized that if I did that, I would wind up back in prison again. Not a prison of iron and concrete, but a prison of constantly killing dogs. That is not a prison I want to go back to. And I’d probably wind up in real prison, too, which is no picnic either.

“I can’t think of it as ‘Oh no, I can never kill a dog again.’ I have to say, ‘I’m not gonna kill a dog right now.’ When I walk down the street, I have to say to myself, ‘I won’t crush that pitbull’s skull with a cinder block’. One not-killed dog at a time.”

A potentially explosive collection of verbal irritants