Amazin Avenue, Baseball

Hot Dog! We Have a Wiener!

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Amazin Avenue CoverI am pleased to announce that the winner of the first ever Scratchbomb trivia contest, and the recipient of a copy of the brand new Amazin’ Avenue Annual, is WFMU’s own Evan “Funk” Davies. He correctly guessed that the first ever batter I saw step up to the plate in a major league game was the immortal Keith Miller.

As I implied in the initial post, the answer was hinted at deep within the Scratchbomb archives. In this post from way back in 2007, I revealed not only the date of the game (June 20, 1987), but also the detail that my family was unable to sit in our seats until the fourth inning. Miller came to bat with Mookie Wilson on first and nobody out. He promptly lined into a double play. That pretty much encapsulates my baseball-viewing life ever since.

I will give away another copy of the Amazin’ Avenue Annual as soon as I can think of a trivia question that is just as dumb.

Politics Schmolitics

Scott Walker Moves Democracy Out of State

MADISON, WI–Governor Scott Walker made an unexpected move on Wednesday night, ending a legislative stalemate by relocating the state’s democracy out of the capitol.

“We have tried to work with Democrats to come to a satisfactory resolution to this financial crisis,” Walker told reporters. “But as the governor of this state, I’m charged with making tough decisions, and I believe that Wisconsin can no longer support a democracy franchise.”

Mayflower trucks pulled up to the state capitol building at 10pm local time to complete the move. The Dairy State’s principal symbols of democracy were packed in bubble wrap and loaded into the vehicles shortly thereafter, including the public university system, the bicameral state legislature, and the legacies of Robert LaFollette and Russ Feingold.

“I think the democracy franchise deserves a chance to thrive in a state that can give it the support and attention it deserves,” Walker said as the trucks drove off into the night. “But I know Wisconsans will be well served by the feudalism franchise that will be relocating here from the Middle Ages.”

Walker assured citizens they would be informed shortly about the names of their local vassals and the proper manner to pledge fealty thereto.

Amazin Avenue, Literary Endeavors

The First Ever Scratchbomb Contest! Win This Book!

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Amazin Avenue CoverSo I just got myself a few copies of the Amazin’ Avenue Annual. I am blown away, and I think you will be too. I’m still astounded that I have writing in the same book as Joe Posnanski. Like, I thought somehow such an event would be outlawed between when I turned in my piece and when the book rolled off the press. Luckily, our lawmakers have bigger fish to fry and I’ve slipped through the cracks.

To celebrate this event, I am holding the first ever contest in the history of this site. I am giving away a copy of the Annual to one lucky reader, and all you have to do to get it is be the first person to correctly answer this question:

Who was the first batter I saw step up to the plate in the first major league game I saw in person?

I won’t say exactly when this game was, because, duh. But if you read this site, you can probably guess my relative age and take a stab at it. In fact, there are clues as to the answer to this question not-so-carefully hidden in posts I’ve written over the years. The one hint I will give you is that the game was at Shea. So that means the first batter I ever saw hit in person was not a Met, right? Not necessarily. I’m tricky like that!

You can post answers in the comments section, or email them to me here. In the unlikely event that two or more respondents come up with the correct answer at exactly the same time, we’ll figure out some way to determine a winner. I’m thinking either a knife fight or one-potato two-potato.

Good luck, and happy hunting!

A potentially explosive collection of verbal irritants