Category Archives: Baseball

“Classic” Scracthbomb: There Are Several Failed Oc-TOW-bers

This October marks a solemn–nay, sacred!–anniversary. Because it was two years this October that we, as a nation, stood up and said we would not live in fear. We joined hands and proclaimed that we would not be terrorized, that we would stand firm and resist the great evil that had been foisted upon us!

It was two years ago that this October that we said no to Dane Cook as a spokesman for the MLB playoffs. That may not seem like much now. But this proclamation was the first small step in saying no to Dane Cook the Movie Star, and Dane Cook the Comedian, and hopefully, someday, Dane Cook the Well-Known Celebrity altogther.

If you don’t remember those heady days, check out this post from 2007, which detail his ridiculous playoff ads from that year. Original post here

Continue reading “Classic” Scracthbomb: There Are Several Failed Oc-TOW-bers

I’d Rather Have a Fastball in Front of Me than a Frontal Lobotomy

Clayton Kershaw–the Dodgers’ starter for game 1 of the NLCS–looks like a very young, slightly more athletic version of Tom Waits.

I have no joke for this. Believe me, I tried to find one. Maybe it’s just funny enough that a fireballing southpaw resembles the whiskey-soaked bard of hobos, drunks, and drunk hobos. Seriously, look at this pic of Kershaw:

kershaw.jpgNow peep this pic of a young Tom Waits, back when his voice sounded only slightly demonic:

tomwaits.jpgNot convinced? How ’bout this clip of Mr. Waits on Fernwood 2 Night?

I wonder if Kershaw also lives at the corner of Bedlam and Squalor.

1999 Project: NLCS Game 3

Click here for an intro/manifesto on The 1999 Project.

The Braves appeared pretty loose as they came to Shea for game 3. During a workout the day before the game, Ryan Klesko ran out of the dugout wearing John Rocker’s jersey. “I told him I’d go out there for him to see how it was,” Klesko said. “I’m actually protecting our save guy. We’ve got a couple of first basemen.”

Rocker refused to address questions from the press about his well-documented slagging of Mets fans, but when asked what he would do if called upon to save a game in enemy territory, he responded, “It will be the same situation it was last time when I got booed and then I struck out the side on 14 pitches.”

99_nlcsgm3_cop.jpgRocker’s presence required some extra security; NBC reported 500 additional NYPD officers were on hand to keep the peace. In a pregame interview with Jim Gray, Rocker lamented the the necessity of such protection: “When you come here and this is the only place it happens…they’re throwing batteries at you, throwing change at you, really trying to inflict bodily harm, that kind of stuff just doesn’t need to go on….I just don’t think it’s right, and I think somebody needs to speak out and voice an opinion, that we really don’t appreciate hearing those kind of things and being fearful of our safety at a simple baseball game.”

I don’t think any player should be physically threatened, not even John Rocker, but it was a disingenuous stance to take. He’d thrown verbal jabs at New York fans for weeks, done everything but twirl his mustache and cackle maniacally while tying Mr. Met to a railroad track, and then had the chrome-plated balls to whine about fans behaving rudely toward him. Unless you believe he was too stupid to recognize the hypocrisy of his “who, me?” act, which was certainly a possibility.

Regardless, he certainly relished the villain role, tipping his cap sarcastically as he was introduced during the pregame ceremonies. Gray reported that Rocker professed respect for the Mets as a team, but made clear “his disgust and disdain is purely for the fans here at Shea.” To his credit, Bobby Cox (suddenly very pro-New York) was not pleased with Rocker’s antics. “If I could apologize to their fans, I would,” he told the Daily News. “I’m not supporting that behavior, no.”

As for the other heel in the Mets-Braves wrestling match, Chipper Jones had said virtually nothing since the series began (nor had he done much of anything on the field, amazingly). But the fans were not about to let him forget about his “Yankee gear” comment, and they had a new weapon at their disposal.

After the Mets won the division series against Arizona, Orel Hershiser was interviewed Ed Coleman for Mets Extra. He revealed a tantalizing bit of previously obscure information: Chipper hated to be called “Larry”, his given name. Mike Piazza had taken to greeting him “Hello, Larry,” every time he came to the plate, because “I refuse to call a grown man ‘Chipper’.” Coleman suggested Mets fans keep that in mind once Larry returned to Shea. They would obey this directive with gusto.

As for the techniques of the home team itself, the Mets insisted they’d become used to playing with their backs against the wall (not that they gave themselves much choice). “The last bit of the season will help us because we went through a tough stretch and we were able to turn it around,” John Olerud said. “We know we can persevere even when things don’t look good.”

Bobby Valentine had not acquitted himself well in the series so far. “It’s as if [Cox] has been playing chess, and Valentine has been playing checkers,” Bob Costas remarked. But before game 3, the Mets manager returned to a familiar theme, one he’d preached all season: You can’t lose ’em all.

I think things eventually even out. Balls that hit the foul pole miss the foul pole. Against the Diamondbacks we had the bases loaded and hit it over the fence and it turned. We haven’t had that turn in this series yet. It’s not like there’s a defeatist attitude and we’re up against an immovable object. We’ve been pushing a long time and it’s moving slowly. When it starts moving, then sometimes it’s an unstoppable motion.

Things would get better for the Mets. But they’d get worse first.
Continue reading 1999 Project: NLCS Game 3