All posts by Matthew Callan

Sean from Massapequa, Skitch Hanson, Technical Nonsense

The Twittering Continues

I kinda browbeat Sean from Massapequa into creating a Twitter account, and now he’s mad at me for not mentioning it in my last post. In fact, he threatened my dog. I told him I don’t have a dog, and all he said was, “I know.” I have no idea what that means, but I’m terrified.

So anyway, Sean from Massapequa has a Twitter account. So does frequent Scratchbomb contributor Skitch Hanson. So go and follow them, won’t you?

Wait, first follow me, okay? ‘Cause right now I only have 3 followers–two of which are mentioned above. Man, it’s just like high school all over again.

Baseball, Sean from Massapequa

Fanning the Flames: Lowe-Down

I often write about the Mets on this site, but I realize that my perspective is not necessarily that of the average fan. So as the Hot Stove League heats up, I want to get the viewpoint of another Amazins enthusiast. Today Scratchbomb welcomes back Sean from Massapequa, a union pipefitter and frequent WFAN caller, to discuss the Mets’ pursuit of Derek Lowe.


seanfrommassapequa.jpgIt looks like the Mets’ next free agent target is Derek Lowe. Do you think he’ll round out the rotation?

Yeah, if by “round it out” you mean “ruin it.” That guy’s a bum! I don’t want him nowhere near my team!

He’s not an ace, but you can’t call him a bum. He’s won a World Series, he’s got a good track record in the post season, he’s a solid starter, groundball pitcher, throws 200 innings every year…

Yeah, 200 innings of solid suck! Once again, we see the Freddy Coupons cheapin’ out on this team and not goin’ for the big guns.

Continue reading Fanning the Flames: Lowe-Down →

Politics Schmolitics, The Funny

Senate Democrats: Fixing Glitches

reid.jpgAlright, moving on with our Senate confirmations, what’s the deal with this Roland Burris fella from Illinois?

bobs.jpgThat’s a funny subject. Seems he was appointed by a disgraced governor, and no one ever told him that this was gonna be a huge issue. I don’t know how he couldn’t figure that out on his own. But anyway, we made sure the Illinois secretary of state didn’t sign his certificate of appointment.

reid.jpgSo we’re rejecting his appointment?

bobs.jpgNo, see, we fixed the certificate so that you can’t officially accept his appointment. So the problem’s fixed from your end. We try to avoid conflict as much as possible.

reid.jpgMm hm.
Later, in the Senate chamber:

burris.jpgExcuse me, I’d like to sign the roll book now, because I’m the junior senator from Illinois and…

reid.jpgYeah, Burris, we’re gonna need your office to put some old files, so I’m gonna need you to take your press conference on to the Capitol steps.

burris.jpgYes, but I was told that I would be a senator by the man with the crazy Richie Rich hair…

reid.jpgYeah, so if you could get on out of the Senate chamber as soon as possible, that’d be great.
/raps cubible wall with knuckles, walks away

burris.jpgOkay, so I’m go back to Illinois and burn Blogojevich’s house down.