All posts by Matthew Callan

1999 Project

1999 Project: Games 104-109 (Flirting with First)

Click here for an intro/manifesto on The 1999 Project.

wrigley.jpgJuly 30, 1999: Mets 10, Cubs 9

The Mets began a six-game road trip by outlasting the Cubs in a sweltering game at Wrigley. A heat index of 114 knocked out local TV transmission and some of the traffic lights outside the stadium. Even players who hailed from the Caribbean and South America said it was some of the most oppressive weather they’d ever played in. “Just thank God there was no Astroturf,” Mike Piazza said after the game, “or they would have been taking corpses off the field.”

Masato Yoshii had his shortest outing of the year, lasting only 1 1/3 innings and allowing seven runs. After giving up a 465-foot bomb of a homer to Sammy Sosa in the first, Yoshii was knocked out of the game by a brutal second inning in which he gave up seven consecutive hits (including a single by starter Steve Trachsel and back-to-back triples by Mickey Morandini and Sosa).

Pat Mahomes came on in long relief and held the Cubs to two hits and one run in 4 2/3 innings, allowing the Mets the chance to come back. He also helped spark that come back with an RBI double that sent Trachsel to the showers in the fourth. The Mets took an 8-7 lead thanks to two-run rallies in the third, fourth, and fifth, but a solo shot from Jose Hernandez in the bottom of the fifth tied the game up. Rickey Henderson responded with a homer of his own in the top of the sixth, and John Olerud hit another to give the Mets a 10-8 lead.

Brought in for the save, Armando Benitez got two quick outs, then gave up a double to Morandini and an RBI single to Sosa that shaved the Mets’ lead to one run. Mark Grace followed with a single that moved the tying run to third. Pinch hitter Tyler Houston hit a shot off of Benitez’s right leg, and the pitcher could not locate the ball at first. After a few helpful screams from Piazza, Benitez threw Houston out at first to end the game.

The reward for their perserverence (other than the win, of course): first place, thanks to a Braves loss to Philly. The Mets hadn’t been in first so late in a season since 1990.

Continue reading 1999 Project: Games 104-109 (Flirting with First) →

1999 Project

1999 Project: Games 98-103 (AKA At Home They Feel Like Tourists)

Click here for an intro/manifesto on The 1999 Project.

99_kenny_rogers.pngJust as the Mets returned to Shea, the front office made its long-rumored deal for a starter, sending two minor leaguers to Oakland in exchange for Kenny Rogers. “The Gambler” was a more-than-capable lefty, but he’d already done an unsuccessful tour of duty with the Yankees that convinced many he was not New York Material. He also had made few friends in the Bay Area, punching a teammate in the face over a card-game-related dispute and destroying a bunch of bullpen phones at Candlestick Park (or 3Com Park, as it was called in its last year of hosting baseball). The A’s were not shy about telling the world he would not be missed.

Regardless, in Oakland Rogers regained the ace-like form he lost in the Bronx. He thrived in Texas when Bobby Valentine was the skipper there. The Mets hadn’t given up much to obtain him (of the two minor leaguers dealt to the A’s, only Terence Long would have a serviceable career). And former teammate/fellow Texan Andy Pettite vouched for him.

It wasn’t as if the Mets had many other options. Dream deals for true aces like Curt Schilling and David Wells proved prohibitively expensive and unlikely, given the dearth of talent in their farm system. Internally, they closed one road when they converted Jason Isringhausen into a reliever. And as good as Octavio Dotel had been, they were clearly reluctant to rely on a rookie in the midst of a heated pennant race.

Plus, Bobby Jones looked unlikely to return any time soon. On the shelf since May 23 with a shoulder injury, he threw an unsuccessful bullpen session that proved he was not ready for a rehab assignment.

So The Gambler found himself in the Mets’ rotation, which meant a possible trip to the bullpen for Orel Hershiser or Rick Reed. The Mets began a homestand that would end well in the win column (5-1) but be overshadowed by an opposing player’s reception, and a promotion so stupid it would have made Bill Veeck blanch.

Continue reading 1999 Project: Games 98-103 (AKA At Home They Feel Like Tourists) →

Politics Schmolitics, Pundidiots

Rush Limbaugh’s Society for Things that Look Like Other Things

limbaugh.jpgWelcome back to the show. Listen, I think I need to clarify some remarks I made. For some reason, some people get all bent out of shape when you mention Adolf Hitler.

Look: I’m not saying that Barack Obama is exactly like Adolf Hitler. That would be insane! I just think he does certain things that resemble things Hitler also did. They both eat. Are you aware of that? You won’t hear the liberal media talk about that, but it’s true!

And how about the logo for Obama’s health care plan? It looks almost swastika-esque, in my opinion.

Not overtly, of course. No one would come right out and make a logo that looks like a swastika–not even the O-bum-a administration. No, they’re too subtle and sneaky for that. You have to stare at this thing for a while before it becomes apparent. Really stare at it. For like, five hours. Then smack yourself upside the head and pop three Vicodin. And throw some salt in your eyes.

It’s amazing, isn’t it? The Obamas make me jump through all these hoops so I can see their Nazi imagery. I have to sit around and do all this work, just to it will resemble something evil. Is there anything they won’t stoop to?

Know what else I’ve been noticing? Nancy Pelosi looks an awful lot like Joseph Goebbels. Again, this is not something you would notice at first glance. Or second. Or third, or tenth, or seven hundred and twenty-fifth. It takes a truly keen intellect like mine, with the mental stamina to squint at the same thing for several hours without blinking. And to do so after ingesting a fistful of Percocet.

Not to mention, this golden microphone that I use, it looks a lot like the torch wielded by the runner in Leni Riefenstahl’s Olympia. Maybe this is the same torch hoisted in that film. Yes! I am sure of it!

And the receiver of this phone, it looks just like the talons of a fierce Nazi creature called the Jar-Lock! Half-man, half-animal, and 100 percent killing machine! Hitler bred it especially to spread the foul stench of socialized medicine! It haunts my dreams! Sometimes Jar-Lock tries to attack me in broad daylight, emerging from the shadows and returning there just as quickly! You may not have heard of this beast, because it might only exist in my head!

And when I stare in the mirror for a really long time, I can convince myself that my greasy, slicked-back hair actually looks presentable, instead of making me look like a 400-pound Gordon Gekko.

And when I see the fine layer of gelatinous sweat that limns my forehead, it looks to me like something women might find attractive, rather than the sign of a morbidly obese land monster who gets winded while chewing.

Coming up on the program, I’ll slam a few OxyContin, choke back the self loathing churning in my stomach, and find several new ways to shoehorn the phrase “anal poisoning” into my rant!