All posts by Matthew Callan

Glenn Beck Will Save America with Classic Commercials

glennbeck.jpgDo you remember that simpler time in America? Do you remember how that felt? Do you remember this commercial?

glennbeck.jpgYes, there was a time when tow-headed young boys could give Cokes to famous defensive linemen. And the linemen would give the children sweaty souvenirs! When was the last time you saw that in Obama’s America? What has happened to our nation? Or how about this, do you remember this?

glennbeck.jpgWe were all Peppers back then! No one saw color! It didn’t
matter if you were a boatin’ Pepper, a totin’ Pepper, a cookin’ Pepper,
or a good lookin’ Pepper! It didn’t even matter if you were Popeye! We
all danced on the deck of a Staten Island Ferry boat! Only when I look
at ads like this do I realize how much we’ve lost! Still not convinced?
How about this, do you remember this?
Continue reading Glenn Beck Will Save America with Classic Commercials →

1999 Project: NLCS Game 4

Click here for an intro/manifesto on The 1999 Project.

99_nlcsgm4_sweep.pngNBC’s pregame intro praised the “talent and professionalism” of the Braves, and supposed a trip to the World Series would help them rightfully claim the mantle of Team of the Decade. The Mets were only mentioned to note they would likely be “swept away” (as symbolized by this graphic), which is understandable, since they’d barely made a peep during the first three games of the series. Their formerly unimpeachable gloves had failed them. Their big hitters had come up small. Their pitching had been good, holding the Braves to nine runs in the first three games, but Atlanta’s had been better, with a staff ERA of 2.45.

Before the game, as the teams took batting practice, someone asked John Rocker if he could imagine changing his mind about Mets fans. “The only thing I’m changing is my clothes after I get champagne all over them tonight,” he responded.

It looked like the most exciting Mets-related news of the day would come from the Queens DA office, which announced it had arrested an Elmhurst man for attempting to use eBay to sell playoff tickets “at prices exceeding the face value of $50.” Back in 1999, using the internet to charge exorbitant prices for tickets was still called scalping, though nowadays it’s called StubHub.

“Twelve days ago, the Mets played the Cincinnati Reds in a game that they had to win or their season was going come to an end,” Gary Cohen said in his pregame remarks, “and now…they’re faced with the same proposition against the Atlanta Braves here tonight.”

If you wondered why few people gave the Mets a shot to extend the series (other than the way they’d played so far), the answer was John Smoltz. The previous Braves starters at least offered a glimmer of hope, insofar as they either had checkered playoff histories (Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine) or a lack of postseason experience (Kevin Millwood). Smoltz had neither. What he did have: 12 playoff wins, the most of any other pitcher at the time, and a 6-2 record in the LCS.

He also had a new delivery. To relieve shoulder pain, he’d switched to a three-quarters motion. He was almost like a completely different pitcher, and just as good as the old Smoltz. Prior to the switch, the Mets touched him up for seven runs in a game at Shea in July. But after Smoltz’s adjustments, they could only scratch out one run off of him in a late September game in Atlanta (the one in which Chipper Jones singlehandedly beat them with two solo homers).

If the Mets wanted any hope it all, they could look to the calendar. Thirty years ago, on the same date, the Mets beat the Orioles 5-3 in game 5 of the World Series to complete a miraculous season and capture their first championship. For a more tangible sign, they could look to the man on the mound, Rick Reed.

After a disappointing season, Reed turned in some impressive starts down the stretch, including a 12-strikeout, complete game shutout against the Pirates, at a time when one more loss meant the end of the Mets’ season. “He is back to the Rick Reed of 1997 and 1998,” Cohen said in his pregame remarks, “able to throw his fastball anywhere he wants and get his curveball over.” He was also the rare Mets pitcher who had some success against Atlanta (though he knocked on wood when reminded of this fact by a Daily News reporter).

Bobby Cox, of all people, seemed to think his team’s success was more good fortune than anything else. “We’ve won a lot of games against the Mets this year,” he said. “But most of the games could have gone either way…I think we’ve maybe outlucked them in a lot of areas.”

Game 4 marked the first time in the series the Mets would not be outlucked, or outsmarted.
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“Classic” Scracthbomb: There Are Several Failed Oc-TOW-bers

This October marks a solemn–nay, sacred!–anniversary. Because it was two years this October that we, as a nation, stood up and said we would not live in fear. We joined hands and proclaimed that we would not be terrorized, that we would stand firm and resist the great evil that had been foisted upon us!

It was two years ago that this October that we said no to Dane Cook as a spokesman for the MLB playoffs. That may not seem like much now. But this proclamation was the first small step in saying no to Dane Cook the Movie Star, and Dane Cook the Comedian, and hopefully, someday, Dane Cook the Well-Known Celebrity altogther.

If you don’t remember those heady days, check out this post from 2007, which detail his ridiculous playoff ads from that year. Original post here

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