All posts by Matthew Callan

YouTubery Friday: Soupy Sales and Jon Mulaney

It’s Friday! Procrastinate and countdown to happy hour with these lovely bits!

Comedian Soupy Sales passed away yesterday, which immediately made me nostalgic. Soupy hosted a kids’ show in the 1950s and 1960s, probably one of the first to make any attempt to appeal to adults at the same time as children. It actually gathered something of a hip following at one point, particularly when production moved from New York to Los Angeles.

I wasn’t old enough to have seen that show, but my grandparents had a couple of old Soupy Sales records at their house, which I remember listening to and enjoying many times. They were kind of corny, even to a little kids’ ears, full of bad puns and the like, but fun. One of the record, Spy with a Pie, was a full-length James Bond parody, inexplicably featuring a Bela Lugosi-esque vampire puppet and a come-on from a Mae West honey trap. (“I’d like to run mah finger through your black, wavy hair.” “No thanks, I got a comb.”)

When I heard that he died, I figured I’d go online and try to find some clips of his old show, which I’d actually never seen. You can see a direct line from him to Pee-wee’s Playhouse, definitely, in the free, anarchic universe they both inhabited in their shows.

If anything, Soupy’s world is a little too free; I seriously doubt there was any kind of script. And you can totally see the sets shake every time somebody moves. But I admire the cheapness (although I doubt it was a conscious aesthetic choice) because cheapness is funny.

Plus, Soupy played some kickin’ tunes on his show. Check out this clip, where his pal Pookie dances/lip syncs to Oscar Peterson’s “Mumbles” and John Lee Hooker’s “Boom Boom Boom” (not the John Lee Hooker version, though).

Can you imagine a kids show playing music like that nowadays? Well, maybe Yo Gabba Gabba. Interesting side note: Two of Soupy’s kids, Hunt and Tony, formed Iggy Pop’s rhythm section for Lust for Life. Seriously.

And speaking of swingin’ tunes, check out this lengthy clip in which Soupy serves dinner to som brat and his dad, and members of The Rat Pack. I can’t say this all that funny or exactly classic TV, but you do get to see Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., and Joey Bishop get hit in the face with a pie.

As for the modern funny, my brother recently sent me this video in which John Mulaney talks about The Best Meal ever. I have to admit I was largely ignorant of Mr. Mulaney until he appeared in studio on The Best Show earlier this year. But me likey, definitely. I know this isn’t really a video per se, but seriously, if this story does not make you bust a gut, you are dead inside.

1999 Project: NLCS Game 5

Click here for an intro/manifesto on The 1999 Project.

Given a stay of execution, the Mets looked like they were back in midseason form. That included some needless clubhouse squabbling.

Rickey Henderson was upset when Bobby Valentine replaced him in the middle of game 4 for defense and waited until he took the field to do so. The manager apologized for waiting so long to remove him (if not for removing him in the first place) as he came back to the dugout, but Henderson brushed passed him, went straight to the clubhouse, and was not seen in the Mets locker room after the game.

In a postgame interview, Turk Wendell praised his teammates–23 of them, anyway. “This is a real team effort except for one guy who quit,” he said. When asked to clarify, he gestured toward Henderson’s empty locker. “Look around the room.”

99_nlcsgm5_wendell.pngBefore game 5, Rickey responded in typical Rickey fashion. “If he doesn’t respect me, then tough luck,” he said. “He should be happy he’s in this position. He wouldn’t be here if not for me.” Henderson also suggested that Turk could “kiss my black ass”.

Wendell tried to apologize to Henderson later, but Rickey refused to accept his apology. In one of those awesome “oops!” episodes of live TV, as Craig Sager related this saga, NBC cut to a shot of Wendell idling in the bullpen, just in time to catch him strenuously picking his nose.

The renewed turmoil also brought with it more anonymous grousing about Valentine. One unnamed “prominent Met” told Bill Madden of the Daily News, “It looks like he wants to get fired and go get a job in Japan.” Madden also reported that some players were upset about Valentine pinch hitting for Robin Ventura in game 3 against John Rocker, even though Ventura was 0 for 5 with five strikeouts against him. It was perceived as a slight against the third baseman, who’d been playing through serious knee pain for quite some time.

Valentine could try to soothe some bruised egos and hurt feelings once the piddling matter of another elimination game was resolved. If the manager had any ideas about sitting Henderson–either for insubordination or ineffectiveness (he had only one hit so far in the series)–he scrapped them when Roger Cedeno could not start due to back spasms (he later said it felt like he had “a knife in my back”, a feeling Valentine could certainly relate to). Bob Costas guessed Cedeno suffered the injury after twisting to catch a hard hit ball by Ozzie Guillen in the top of the ninth of game 4. Either that, or jumping into Mora’s arms after they scored the tying and go-ahead runs.

For Atlanta, John Rocker did not look worse for wear after his blown save the night before. He celebrated his 25th birthday by continuing to spar verbally with Mets fans, calling them “subhuman” and “the worst fans in baseball”. He also shagged flies in the outfield and pretended to throw them to awaiting fans in the left field stands.

Braves pitching coach Leo Mazzone was given the unenviable task of keeping Rocker out of trouble, shadowing the closer during pregame warmups. “Is this part of coaching or what?” he grumbled.
Continue reading 1999 Project: NLCS Game 5 →

The Steve Phillips Press Conference to End All Steve Phillips Press Conferences

phillips2.jpgI’m going to make this press conference brief. As you all know by now, I had an affair with a 22-year-old ESPN employee. Because of that, I have been suspended indefinitely from my duties as an analyst for postseason games and ESPN’s Baseball Tonight. This woman has stalked and harassed my wife and children, so I ask that you please respect my privacy at this difficult time for me and my family. However, I will take a few brief questions. Yes, Buster Olney?
olney2.jpgIs this for real? Or are you just pretending to be a lecherous douchebag, like you pretended to be a GM in those “press conferences” you made us do a few years back? You know, those “press conferences” that robbed all of us of our professional dignity and integrity?
phillips2.jpgThis is totally real. Believe me, I wish it wasn’t…
olney2.jpgOh, so it’s like when you pretended to be GM of the Mets!
phillips2.jpgNo, Buster, I was an actual GM. You know, I’m pretty proud of what I…
jeremyschaap.jpgHey, Steve, Jeremy Schaap here. Are you attracted to the criminally insane? Or are those the only women you can convince to sleep with you?
phillips2.jpgOn the advice of my attorney, I’m going to have to…
gammons3.jpgSteve, Peter Gammons here. In the litany of bad decisions you’ve made in your life, which is worse: having sex with some random kookadook who ruined your life, or trading Melvin Mora for Mike Bordick?
phillips2.jpgMike Bordick had some pretty big hits for us down the stretch in…

gammons3.jpgHow about Jason Isringhausen for Billy Taylor?

phillips2.jpgBilly Taylor was a fine closer who…

gammons3.jpgHow about you trying to trade both Jose Reyes and David Wright while they were still prospects?

phillips2.jpgPeter, those deals didn’t go through, so…

olney2.jpgSteve, you nearly ruined the Mets, you were universally hated as a talking head, and now your personal life is in shambles and you’ve got zero credibility because you couldn’t keep it in your pants. All because you got off on a power trip to bedding a subordinate less than half your age.
phillips2.jpgDo you have a question, Buster?
olney2.jpgNo, I don’t, Steve. I just wanted to remind you how totally fucked you are right now.
phillips2.jpgThanks, Buster. Okay, thank you all for your time. I have to go now…
olney2.jpgOh no, Steve, you’re not going anywhere. This is where you stay now.
phillips2.jpgThis is where I stay now? I don’t understand.
olney2.jpgESPN has an Ironic Punishment room for all of its employees who commit sexual harassment.
gammons3.jpgYeah. This is where they’ve been keeping Sean Salisbury for the past two years. His cell phone constantly rings, but it’s always other dudes texting him pictures of their junk.
salisbury.jpg
IT’S TORTURE! DELICIOUS TUMESCENT TORTURE!