All posts by Matthew Callan

Kickstarter Page for The Space Between Cushions Collective

The Space Between Cushions Collective, based in East Williamsburg, shifts the public art paradigm by creating sustainable, locally-grown couch forts. They take furniture relinquished by their owners and turn them into interactive pieces that literally change lives forever. Their upholstered installations have been seen everywhere from Flushing Avenue to several blocks south of Flushing Avenue, and have brought a sense of wonder and exploration to the previously bleak industrial landscape of the neighborhood, when not stolen or defaced by stray dogs.

Now, we want to bring our couch stylings to towns across America, and we need your help.

The Collective will travel from coast to coast, showing people how their drab, boring lives can be transformed just by rearranging their furniture. We find that when a couch is tilted against a wall and the cushions used as “doors” to enter it, the couch becomes a maze, a labyrinth, a treasure trove of discovery. It transforms from a mere piece of furniture into a world unto itself. Especially if it has a part that folds out into a bed, because those are awesome.

But the Collective doesn’t just build a fort and leave it there. For a small fee, we show passers-by how to discover these newly transformed spaces. How to look at the light trailing in through that tiny space between the couch’s arms and the floor. How to inhale the musty air escaping from the exposed padding and recognize it as the smell of freedom. And for a modest exit fee, we allow patrons to leave the fort and see the rest of their lives through new eyes.

Your funds will go toward the following details essential for our mission:

  • Repairs to the Collective’s fixed-gear van, currently in need of a new alternator, muffler, and one of those iPhone chargers you can plug into the cigarette lighter.
  • A custom mural painted on the side of the van by Britton Manship, one of Bushwick’s hottest airbrush artists. We’re thinking about a painting of a dolphin in Elvis Cotello glasses dunking a basketball, but we are open to suggestions.
  • Development and beta testing of our new couch detecting app. When completed, this app will be able to pick up the presence of an abandoned sofa from a distance of 200 yards, provided the sofa has an embedded GPS chip.
  • 13 dozen sleeves of vegan burritos.
  • New safety equipment such as shin guards, helmets, shoulder pads, etc., to deal with the inherent dangers of manipulating couch placement, such as unexpected fall-overs, rug burn, and so on.

Those who contribute to our quest to liberate the nation from the normal, boring way of looking at couches will receive our gratitude, which should be thanks enough. However, we will also throw in a premium based on your donation.

$5: A thank-you postcard mailed from a genuine truck stop.

$10: A swatch of upholstery cut from an actual couch used during our tour.

$25: A couch fort named in your honor

$50: A couch fort given a filthy name in your honor

$100: Couch fort-naming privileges and a Polaroid of your couch fort, suitable for framing

$200: An exclusive MP3 of members of the Collective singing along to a Best Coast song of your choice, recorded inside the van

$500: A genuine bit of loose change found in one of the couches

$1,000: All previously mentioned premiums, plus you can pick us up from the airport if the van breaks down

The Collective is not exaggerating when it says that this will be the most important art project in American history–even more important than that guy who tried to make a seven-story-high tall-bike. Contribute now and be a part of the magic.

FUNDING STATUS:

3 Backers

$0.73 Pledged of $95,000 Goal

12 Days to Go

Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2011 MLB Preview: NL East

ATLANTA BRAVES

2010 record: 91-71, won wild card, lost division series to Giants

Biggest offseason acquisition: Dan Uggla, whose last name perfectly describes his powerful home run swing. And his fielding.

Biggest offseason loss: Closer Billy Wagner, now retired. Fuckin’ shocker.

How will the Braves deal with their first season without Bobby Cox since 1990?: Thanks to their talent and new manager Fredi Gonzalez, the team will be more than fine. I’d be more worried about Mrs. Cox.

Best name on 40-man roster: Jairo Asencio. You want white sauce and hot sauce with that?

The That Guy’s on This Team? Award: Scott Proctor, who still has something resembling a human arm left after working in a Joe Torre bullpen.

Spring standout: Brandon Beachy has pitched to a 1.13 ERA, assuring himself the fifth spot in the rotation and many dumb puns on his name from headline writers.

Probable Opening Day starter: Tim Hudson, who continues to piss me off for reasons I can’t quite articulate.

Biggest question for 2011: Can the Braves challenge the Phillies for the division title, and if so, will anyone in Atlanta notice?

Strengths: Good young bullpen, lack of crowds at playoff games lessens pressure

Weaknesses: Chipper Jones running out of creative ways to end his season

Semi-serious assessment: As you get older, your hates fade. The white-hot rage I once felt toward the Braves has dissipated almost entirely. It helps that only one figure from the 1990s/2000s team remains (LAAAAA-REEEEE). But it’s also due to them having a team of mostly-home-grown regulars like Brian McCann and Jason Heyward who are much harder to hate than Brian Jordan and Greg Maddux ever were. That extends to the bullpen, which contains a lot of great young arms like Craig Kimbrel and Chris Medlen, with not a John Rocker in the bunch (that I know of). I foresee another wild card in their future, and if the Phillies’ injury woes continue, a division title is not as insane an outcome as it looked this winter. But do humanity a favor and lose the Tomahawk Chop, wouldja?

Continue reading Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2011 MLB Preview: NL East

“Classic” Scratchbomb: Olympics of the Mind Meets Freedom of Drunken Speech

With Marched Madness back in action, I thought some folks might enjoy this post from last year, in which I relate my first encounter with Bobby Knight, kid-helmed anarchy, and public obscenity. It also involves Syracuse, and yes, I realize Syracuse is already done. Just go along for the ride, okay? If you don’t like it, ask for your money back, fella.