ANAHEIM ANGELS

2009 record: 97-65, AL West title, lost Championship Series to Yankees

Local weather: Suburban

Namesake: Theatre investors. Ziegfeld’s in the house tonight, everyone!

How much does Angels owner Arte Moreno look like a Walt Disney?: A disturbingly large amount.

Perpetually overused team-related
headline: Angels in the Outfield. Lame, but at least it gives work to Christopher Lloyd.

Best name on 40-man roster: Maicer Izturis. I hate maicers to paicers!

The That Guy’s on This Team? Award: Hideki Matsui, whose salary should offset the cost of transporting his enormous porn collection from New York.

Spring standout: Catcher Mike Napoli, who’s clubbed 5 homers this spring and is in no way connected to The Mob. I don’t know why you’d think that. That’s racist.

Probable Opening Day starter: Jered Weaver, who looks just as baked as his brother, but is much more employed.

Biggest question for 2010: What tragic death will inspire the Angels this year?

Advantage to start the season: Insane Orange County traffic will prevent anyone from actually attending the games.

Semi-serious assessment: I was amazed to see that the Angels won 97 games last year. I think that result will be impossible to reproduce this year, as Seattle has improved by leaps and bounds. They lost John Lackey and added Joel Pineiro, who I predict will turn back into a pumpkin like most Dave Duncan projects do away from St. Louis. This year’s Angels have taken a step backward–not an enormous one, but not small enough to stave off the huge step forward taken by the Mariners.
Continue reading Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2010 MLB Preview: AL West →