Monthly Archives: February 2010

Football

Rex Ryan “Apologizes”

Thumbnail image for rexryan.jpgI am TRULY sorry for flipping off someone at an MMA fight in Miami this weekend. That behavior was unacceptable and I’m sorry if I EMBARRASSED the Jets organization.

Yes, it was wrong of me to attend a private event and be heckled by drunk idiots all night. In the future, I will be more careful about being in the presence of inebriated, foul-mouthed morons for extended periods of time.

Sure, extending my middle finger to someone was probably the least offensive thing occurring in that arena at the time, as I sat 50 feet away from two men beating each other mercilessly in a quote-unquote sport that’s one step removed from bum fights. Not to mention that one of those men was a retired running back whose presence turned an already sordid event into a full-blown freak show.

But hey, none of that makes what I did any less wrong. Nor does the Daily News and Post sanctimoniously tsk-tsking me for my “shocking” actions, while also putting a picture of said shocking action on their front pages. Not to mention that one of those papers has no problem running a regular advice column penned by a former hooker. No, their rampant hypocrisy does not excuse what I did.

Finally, I want to make it clear that my apology is completely sincere, despite the fact that I’ve been making an exaggerated jerk-off gesture the entire time I delivered it.

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter

Warm Thoughts for a Cold Winter: Mel Allen for Atari + “Gathering Crowds”

Mel Allen, longtime Yankees broadcaster and the voice of This Week in Baseball, did many a commercial in his day. Enjoy this one from the early 80s, in which Mr. How ‘Bout That shills for an Atari baseball game with an unhealthy amount of reverb on his voice. Realistic graphics!

Speaking of This Week in Baseball, I have several episodes of it from the late 80s and early 90s in The Vast and Dusty Scratchbomb VHS Archives. I would love to digitize and share them with all of you, really I would. But as I’ve said many times, MLBAM would come down on me like a ton of bricks for doing so.

As a meager substitute, please accept “Gathering Crowds”, the TWIB end credits theme song used for, oh, about 900 years. This song actually makes me mist up a little bit. DON’T JUDGE.

Also, don’t ask me to explain the assemblage of still images in this “video”. I am not responsible for its visual content, but I am grateful for the audio.