1999 Project: NLCS Game 5

Click here for an intro/manifesto on The 1999 Project.

Given a stay of execution, the Mets looked like they were back in midseason form. That included some needless clubhouse squabbling.

Rickey Henderson was upset when Bobby Valentine replaced him in the middle of game 4 for defense and waited until he took the field to do so. The manager apologized for waiting so long to remove him (if not for removing him in the first place) as he came back to the dugout, but Henderson brushed passed him, went straight to the clubhouse, and was not seen in the Mets locker room after the game.

In a postgame interview, Turk Wendell praised his teammates–23 of them, anyway. “This is a real team effort except for one guy who quit,” he said. When asked to clarify, he gestured toward Henderson’s empty locker. “Look around the room.”

99_nlcsgm5_wendell.pngBefore game 5, Rickey responded in typical Rickey fashion. “If he doesn’t respect me, then tough luck,” he said. “He should be happy he’s in this position. He wouldn’t be here if not for me.” Henderson also suggested that Turk could “kiss my black ass”.

Wendell tried to apologize to Henderson later, but Rickey refused to accept his apology. In one of those awesome “oops!” episodes of live TV, as Craig Sager related this saga, NBC cut to a shot of Wendell idling in the bullpen, just in time to catch him strenuously picking his nose.

The renewed turmoil also brought with it more anonymous grousing about Valentine. One unnamed “prominent Met” told Bill Madden of the Daily News, “It looks like he wants to get fired and go get a job in Japan.” Madden also reported that some players were upset about Valentine pinch hitting for Robin Ventura in game 3 against John Rocker, even though Ventura was 0 for 5 with five strikeouts against him. It was perceived as a slight against the third baseman, who’d been playing through serious knee pain for quite some time.

Valentine could try to soothe some bruised egos and hurt feelings once the piddling matter of another elimination game was resolved. If the manager had any ideas about sitting Henderson–either for insubordination or ineffectiveness (he had only one hit so far in the series)–he scrapped them when Roger Cedeno could not start due to back spasms (he later said it felt like he had “a knife in my back”, a feeling Valentine could certainly relate to). Bob Costas guessed Cedeno suffered the injury after twisting to catch a hard hit ball by Ozzie Guillen in the top of the ninth of game 4. Either that, or jumping into Mora’s arms after they scored the tying and go-ahead runs.

For Atlanta, John Rocker did not look worse for wear after his blown save the night before. He celebrated his 25th birthday by continuing to spar verbally with Mets fans, calling them “subhuman” and “the worst fans in baseball”. He also shagged flies in the outfield and pretended to throw them to awaiting fans in the left field stands.

Braves pitching coach Leo Mazzone was given the unenviable task of keeping Rocker out of trouble, shadowing the closer during pregame warmups. “Is this part of coaching or what?” he grumbled.
Continue reading 1999 Project: NLCS Game 5

The Steve Phillips Press Conference to End All Steve Phillips Press Conferences

phillips2.jpgI’m going to make this press conference brief. As you all know by now, I had an affair with a 22-year-old ESPN employee. Because of that, I have been suspended indefinitely from my duties as an analyst for postseason games and ESPN’s Baseball Tonight. This woman has stalked and harassed my wife and children, so I ask that you please respect my privacy at this difficult time for me and my family. However, I will take a few brief questions. Yes, Buster Olney?
olney2.jpgIs this for real? Or are you just pretending to be a lecherous douchebag, like you pretended to be a GM in those “press conferences” you made us do a few years back? You know, those “press conferences” that robbed all of us of our professional dignity and integrity?
phillips2.jpgThis is totally real. Believe me, I wish it wasn’t…
olney2.jpgOh, so it’s like when you pretended to be GM of the Mets!
phillips2.jpgNo, Buster, I was an actual GM. You know, I’m pretty proud of what I…
jeremyschaap.jpgHey, Steve, Jeremy Schaap here. Are you attracted to the criminally insane? Or are those the only women you can convince to sleep with you?
phillips2.jpgOn the advice of my attorney, I’m going to have to…
gammons3.jpgSteve, Peter Gammons here. In the litany of bad decisions you’ve made in your life, which is worse: having sex with some random kookadook who ruined your life, or trading Melvin Mora for Mike Bordick?
phillips2.jpgMike Bordick had some pretty big hits for us down the stretch in…

gammons3.jpgHow about Jason Isringhausen for Billy Taylor?

phillips2.jpgBilly Taylor was a fine closer who…

gammons3.jpgHow about you trying to trade both Jose Reyes and David Wright while they were still prospects?

phillips2.jpgPeter, those deals didn’t go through, so…

olney2.jpgSteve, you nearly ruined the Mets, you were universally hated as a talking head, and now your personal life is in shambles and you’ve got zero credibility because you couldn’t keep it in your pants. All because you got off on a power trip to bedding a subordinate less than half your age.
phillips2.jpgDo you have a question, Buster?
olney2.jpgNo, I don’t, Steve. I just wanted to remind you how totally fucked you are right now.
phillips2.jpgThanks, Buster. Okay, thank you all for your time. I have to go now…
olney2.jpgOh no, Steve, you’re not going anywhere. This is where you stay now.
phillips2.jpgThis is where I stay now? I don’t understand.
olney2.jpgESPN has an Ironic Punishment room for all of its employees who commit sexual harassment.
gammons3.jpgYeah. This is where they’ve been keeping Sean Salisbury for the past two years. His cell phone constantly rings, but it’s always other dudes texting him pictures of their junk.
salisbury.jpg
IT’S TORTURE! DELICIOUS TUMESCENT TORTURE!

Blatant Homerism Theatre, in Conjunction with Lack of Historical Perspective, Brings You a Jayson Stark Production

The great thing about sports in general–and baseball in particular, I think–is that it turns adults into little kids again. It makes us marvel at amazing feats, believe in miracles…

/the theme from The Natural swells

Sorry, almost had a Costner moment there. Schmaltz aside, sports are fun because they can bring us unbridled joy and enthusiasm. We can all go a little nuts when our team wins The Big Game, pump our fists and proclaim THAT’S THE BEST DAMN GAME I’VE EVER SEEN!

And when I say “we”, I mean “the fans”. That should not include members of the media, who are paid to be impartial and stoic and have a sense of perspective during even the most thrilling moments. Jayson Stark of ESPN must have missed that day at J-school, because he busted out a column about game 4 of the NLCS that blew my mind with its complete lack of historic perspective or rational thought.

When last we met Mr. Stark, he was advising the Mets (via anonymous MLB scouts) to trade Jose Reyes. So his judgment is already suspect in my eyes. My opinion of him has not been elevated by his piece about Monday night’s thriller, entitled “Phillies walk off into history”.

He sets the scene with a series of one-sentence paragraphs, describing how the Phillies were down to their last strike when Jimmy Rollins belted a two-run double into the right field gap, completing a come-from-behind victory and putting Philadelphia on top three games to one in the series.

It was a dramatic win, to say the least. It deserves some dramatic prose. What it does not deserve is to be described as “an October baseball game that is going to be talked about for the rest of our lifetimes.”

Maybe Stark has powers of prognostication that I don’t. But “talked about for the rest of our lifetimes”?! This was, at best, the third-best playoff game played in the past week. It was the second-best playoff game played that day. Games 2 and 3 of this year’s ALCS–extra-inning, tension-filled marathons–were both better.
Continue reading Blatant Homerism Theatre, in Conjunction with Lack of Historical Perspective, Brings You a Jayson Stark Production