NBC’s Football Night in America Wild Card Weekend Something or Other is proud to welcome former president of the Lions, Matt Millen. Thanks for being such a good sport and being with us, Matt. I have to say, though, I’m surprised your head is so big. I thought for sure it’d be canteloupe sized. Or at the very least, more of a pinhead shape.

No, no, I have a normal head.

Fascinating. So you are not legally required to wear some sort of helmet? Not even for insurance purposes? Because surely your skull is as soft as a newborn baby’s. I imagine it as one big fontanel.

All the seams in my skull knitted together a long time ago.

How about a dunce cap, do you usually wear that? Or a propeller beanie? Maybe one of those floppy crowns like Jughead wore?

I don’t care much for hats.

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