Hey guys, have you thought about watching the Jay Leno Show when it debuts next Monday? It’s gonna be blast! Guests! Comedy! Things on the news!
Boy, I wish I was on TV right now! Did you see that Obama health speech yesterday? Crazy! Boy, I’d have a few zingers ready for Joe Wilson. Then I’d also have a few for Obama, just to even it out! I like to give it to both sides! I think that’s why people like me! I’m fair!
But you should still tune in! We’re gonna have so many surprises, you won’t believe it! I just got an original user’s manual from a 1969 Lotus Super 7 Series 3! And I’ll read the whole thing, live on the air!
Watch as I play a hilarious prank on Chuck‘s Zachary Levi! He’ll order a tuna wrap from the craft services truck, but we’ll send him a turkey club and insist it’s tuna! You’ll crack up at as he exhibits mild frustration over the matter!
Did you know when I was in college, I was voted Most Likely To Continue to Exist? It’s true!
Thrill as I realize one of my lifelong dreams: drop-kicking a pumpkin across the Grand Canyon! And they said it couldn’t be done!
You guys like Twitter, right? If I did something with Twitter, would you tune in then?
We’re doing stuff for the troops, too! As soon as the first show wraps, we’ll burn it to DVD and send it to one lucky army base in Fallujah! That army base will then send it to another, and so on, until every man and woman in uniform gets to see it! Which should happen some time in 2017!
Adam Levine from Maroon 5 will stop by to restring his guitar–live!
I’m bringing back Iron Jay! But this time, it will be an actual iron statue of me! We’ll travel to a working foundry in Youngstown, Ohio to watch it be forged!
Do you like that guy Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs? Me too! If we had him on the show, would you tune in?
You’ll love the spin-off of my Headlines segments: Mastheads! You won’t believe some of the crazy names these editors have!
It’s so cold outside the spotlight, so tune in! If you don’t, I’ll have to be on the road 290 days a year because I hate my family! Come home to NBC!