For previous Inappropriate Walk Up Music posts, click here.

Every day until Opening Day, Scratchbomb presents three tunes that are completely, unequivocally inappropriate for use as major league walk-up
music.

These are not necessarily bad songs–although that
certainly helps. They are merely songs that don’t evoke the fear and dread one traditionally associates with the walk-up song. In fact, they evoke the exact opposite.

Imagine yourself in the on-deck circle. Bottom of the 9th. Down by one. Man on second, two out. You hear the PA system blare, The centerfielder, number 20… The crowd roars at the sound of your name. And as you stroll to the batter’s box, you are greeted with the strains of one of these songs:

*”Girl Afraid”, The Smiths
I wanted to include a Smiths song in this list, but nearly all of them would be inappropriate in this context, so it was hard to pick just one. Then, I heard this song pop up on iTunes shuffle, and the lightbulb went off.

* “We’re Having a Baby”, The Make-Up
Not to be confused with “She’s Having My Baby”, which is just as inappropriate. I can think of some Make-Up tunes that would work as walk-up music (“Untouchable Sound” for one), but this ain’t one of them.

* “Wo Ist Du Haus, Mama”, Johnny Cash
They used to play this track often on WFMU, and I could never figure out if it was hilarious or bone-chilling. Just like The Beatles, The Man in Black cut a bunch of tracks in German early in his career. As much as Johnny Cash in English is bad-ass, that’s how much Johnny Cash in German is fucking terrifying. All of the Deutsch versions are weird in this “video”, but fast-forward to 6:24 to hear the especially bizarre tune “Wo Ist Du Haus, Mama”.