For previous Inappropriate Walk Up Music posts, click here.

Every day until Opening Day, Scratchbomb presents three tunes that are completely, unequivocally inappropriate for use as major league walk-up
music.

These are not necessarily bad songs–although that
certainly helps. They are merely songs that don’t evoke the fear and dread one traditionally associates with the walk-up song. In fact, they evoke the exact opposite.

Imagine yourself in the on-deck circle. Bottom of the 9th. Down by one. Man on second, two out. You hear the PA system blare, The centerfielder, number 20… The crowd roars at the sound of your name. And as you stroll to the batter’s box, you are greeted with the strains of one of these songs:

Today, we present an all-Prince edition. I know I said I didn’t want to put multiple songs by the same artist on this list. I lied. Sue me.

Prince = awesome. However, he has more than one song that doesn’t work in this context. And I think we call can agree that the man can sometimes get a tad carried away.

* “Batdance”
Most Prince hits have aged well. This hasn’t. It’s trapped in this very weird moment in history known as 1989. Not the 80s. Not the 90s. Neon shirts, slap bracelets, New Jack swing–it’s the land that time forgot!

* “Darling Nikki”
Better known as the song that launched the PMRC. Even by Prince’s standards, this song is kinda ridiculous. In what sort of hotels do chicks sit in the lobby, pleasuring themselves to a magazine? And would you happen to have the address of any of these hotels?

* “If I Was Your Girlfriend”
Gender-bending funk–what major leaguer would have a problem with that?