Chuck Scarborough has been on NBC-4 News my entire life. During that time, I’ve heard him deliver some ridiculous teasers for 11 o’clock news stories. But last night, I heard the teaser to end all teasers. I seriously heard him say this:

What bikinis really do men’s brains: New science at 11!

I swear I could hear a little piece of his soul dry up, break off, and float into the wind.