So just before the playoffs started, I announced my intentions to do some recaps of the games and whatnot. Before doing so, I did not remember/calculate exactly how effin’ busy I’d be over those weeks. And so I was forced to not deliver on my promise for the first two rounds. I regret not being able to do this for the LDSes, all of which turned out to be pretty amazing, though I’m a bit relieved I couldn’t make it up in the LCSes, which, apart from a few games, were snooze fests.
Am I excited about this World Series matchup? Not exactly. Or not at all, actually. I’d hoped for a Detroit-Milwaukee series, for reasons that escape me now. Rust versus Cheese! Alas, t’was not to be, and so I have to decide between my generalized dislike for Texas (or maybe just the idea of Texas) and my specific dislike of Tony LaRussa. The Cardinals’ unlikely road to the Fall Classic has more annoyed me than intrigued me, even if they picked off the Phillies along the way, while the Rangers are one of those teams I was once happy to go years without thinking about.
But, since I went through the trouble of announcing this dumb feature and even made a blog category for it and everything, I present to you my in-time observations of this historic game one (in that it is technically part of history). All of the carnage after the jump.
Continue reading Schadenfreuders Unanimous: World Series Game 1
Tony, I would like you come to my “Restoring Honor” rally in Washington. Albert Pujols will be a guest of honor and it would be great if you could introduce him.
Gee, I don’t know, Glenn. As a public figure, I have to be careful what I associate myself with. I usually shy away from politics.
Don’t worry, Tony this is a completely apolitical event.
Really? Sarah Palin is speaking at it.
She’s not a politician anymore–she resigned the guberna…gubernavit….she’s not governor anymore, remember?
And it’s taking place on the exact same date in the exact same place as Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech, and you said your goal for this event is to “reclaim the civil rights movement”.
Civil rights aren’t a political issue, Tony–they’re a human issue. All American citizens should have the right to live and work the way they choose. That’s an issue that transcends politics, wouldn’t you agree?
I suppose so.
And so is the right to hoard gold for the impending cash-less economic system the radical socialists in the quote-unquote Democratic party plan to foist on America by the year 2013.
That sounds kind of political.
Oh, it’s definitely not. Because the Democrats insist on absolute separation of church and state, and the liberal fascists in the Obama administration are bent on removing religion from every imaginable public sphere. So if we believe in God, we ipso facto cannot be political, in their eyes! You believe in God, don’t you, Tony?
I’m not really religious, but I guess I believe in God.
Good! You’ll need to pray to that god when the new world order tries to brand your babies with a UPC-type symbol so the one-world government can track them at all times.
Why do you think that’s going to happen?
/pulls out chalkboard with Rube Goldergian swirl of arrows
Wow, that is convincing. But you swear this isn’t political.
Not in the least. Though we may all grab pitchforks and march on the White House and attempt to overthrow the government by sheer force of will. Not sure; we’re gonna play it by ear.
Sounds like a blast. Will there be vegetarian meal options offered at this event?
Will there be vegetarian meal options? Because I’m a vegetarian.
YOU’RE ONE OF THEM!
/ Body Snatchers-esque screech