Recently in The Parallel Universe Fake Mets Category

Game 29: Giants 2, Mets 1
The Fake Mets could only scratch out one meager run against Fake Barry Zito, and that came on a ground-out double play by Fake David Wright in the first inning. Meanwhile, to further emphasize the inherent unfairness of MLB10:The Show, the Fake Giants tied the score in the fifth when Fake Bengie Molina hit a two-out triple (!) (no, seriously, (!)) that just eluded Fake Jeff Francoeur's glove, then went ahead immediately thereafter on a Fake Freddy Sanchez RBI single. Fake Brian Wilson struck out the side in the ninth (around a Wright single that briefly gave the Fake Mets hope) to preserve the win.

In real life: K-Rod wasted a fine effort by Mike Pelfrey when he gave up a two-out, pinch-hit homer to John Bowker in the top of the ninth, but they salvaged a victory with a two-run walkoff homer by Rod Barajas in the bottom half.

Game 30: Mets 4, Giants 3
The Fake Giants took a 3-1 lead in the top of the sixth when a botched sac bunt play was followed by an inside-the-park home run by Fake Edgar Renteria (aided by the goblins inside MLB10:The Show, which refused to let me switch to the right fielder, who might have actually fielded the ball). But the Fake Mets rallied for 3 runs in the bottom of the ninth, the last scoring on a walkoff RBI double by Fake Jason Bay.

In real life: Once again, the bullpen allowed a starter's fine outing to go by the wayside (Santana in this case) and let the Giants tie up the game late. And once again, a Mets catcher came to the rescue, as Henry Blanco hit a walkoff homer in the bottom of the 11th.

Game 31: Mets 1, Giants 0
The Fake Mets could do almost nothing against the immortal (fake) Madison Bumgarner until Fake Jeff Francoeur hit a two-out single in the bottom of the seventh to plate Fake Jason Bay. Meanwhile, Fake Johan Santana flirted with history as he was perfect through 8 2/3 innings, but pinch hitter Fake Andres Torres hit a parachute single into shallow left field to break up the no-no. Johan stayed on to get the last out and give the Fake Mets a series win.

In real life: The Mets fought back to overcome an early 4-0 deficit (and the supremely crappy pitching of Oliver Perez) and tie the game, but Jenrry Mejia gave up a two-run shot to Aaron Rowand in the top of the ninth, which proved the difference in a 6-4 loss.

Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 14-17
Real Mets record: 17-14

Game 26: Mets 1, Reds 0
The Fake Mets' bats were silent against Fake Aaron Harang until Fake Jeff Francoeur led off the top of the seventh with a home run. They would get no more runs, but they would need no more, thanks to a stellar complete game shutout from Fake Johan Santana.

In real life: Oliver Perez turned in a decent outing, but the Mets left several scoring opportunities by the wayside, and the Reds were walkoff winners on a pinch hit homer by Laynce Nix in the bottom of the 11th.

Game 27: Reds 3, Mets 1
The Fake Mets scratched out a run in the top of the first, thanks to a wild pitch from Fake Edinson Volquez (who is neither injured nor suspended in this universe). But they could do nothing else, as they grounded into an astounding six double plays. Fake Ramon Hernandez hit a two-run homer in the third, and Fake Joey Votto hit a solo shot in the sixth to account for Fake Cincinnati's scoring.

In real life: The Mets let a 4-2 get away from them when Fernando Nieve gave up consecutive solo home runs to Joey Votto and Scott Rolen. But Rod Barajas hit one of his own off of Francisco Cordero in the top of the ninth, and Frankie Rodriguez made the 5-4 score stand up.

Game 28: Mets 3, Reds 1
Fake David Wright belted a two-run homer off of Fake Bronson Arroyo in the top of the fourth, and Fake Jason Bay added an RBI double in the top of the eighth to account for all of the Fake Mets' scoring. Fake Oliver Perez turned in a great outing, going 7 2/3 innings, and Fake K-Rod earned his sixth save of the year.

In real life: The Mets rallied to tie the game at 4 against Francisco Cordero in the top of the ninth, but Pedro Feliciano gave up a walkoff homer to the first batter he faced in the bottom of the 10th (Orlando Cabrera), and thus the Reds took the series.

Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 15-13
Real Mets record: 12-16

Game 23: Mets 2, Phillies 0
The Fake Mets managed 2 runs in the top of the third when Fake Carlos Beltran hit a bases-loaded, two-out single off of Fake Cole Hamels. They wouldn't get another baserunner until the ninth, but that was all they needed. Fake Oliver Perez pitched eight brilliant innings, and Frankie Rodriguez worked around a two-out single from Fake Chase Utley in the bottom of the ninth to preserve the win.

In real life: The Mets scored early and often against Phillies' starter Kyle Kendrick, while Jon Niese turned in 7 great innings, as they cruised to a 9-1 win, their eighth in a row.

Game 24: Phillies 3, Mets 1
Fake John Maine gave up homers to Fake Shane Victorino and Fake Raul Ibanez, while his teammates could only scratch out one run against Fake Joe Blanton.

In real life: After a great April, Mike Pelfrey came back to earth, undone by some sloppy defense and a six-run fourth inning. Roy Halladay was in control the entire game and went the distance in the 10-0 loss.

Game 25: Mets 1, Phillies 0
The Fake Mets could only manage one measly run against Fake J.A. Happ, that was all they would need. Fake Jon Niese and three relievers combined for a shutout to take the rubber match of the series.

In real life: This game never happened. Move along, nothing to see here.

Game 20: Dodgers 5, Mets 3 (23)
In a game that took three years off my life, the Fake Mets took an early lead on a Fake Jason Bay 2-run homer. But the Fake Dodgers battled back to tie, and the game dragged on into the wee hours. The Fake Mets mounted numerous threats but could not push a run across, and a homer by Fake Rafael Furcal in the top of the 21st inning seemed to doom their chances. But Fake Jose Reyes led off the bottom half with a single, stole second, advanced to third on a wild pitch from Fake Jonathan Broxton, and scored on a sac fly, thus prolonging the agony. The Fake Dodgers lay in the weeds until the 23rd inning, when a 2-run double by Fake Russell Martin put them back on top. The Fake Mets could not mount another comeback, and suffered another agonizing loss.

In real life: In the first half of a rain-necessitated doubleheader, Johan Santana blanked the Dodgers through six innings, while the Mets converted some timely hitting en route to a 4-0 win. Jason Bay finally hit his first home run as a Met.

Game 21: Dodgers 2, Mets 1
Fake Johan Santana kept the Fake Dodgers off the board for seven innings, while his teammates could do very little against Fake Eric Stults. In the bottom of the seventh, they finally pushed across a run when a slow roller by Fake Jason Bay was thrown away, allowing Fake Jose Reyes to score. But Santana faltered in the eighth, giving up a leadoff homer to Fake Casey Blake, then a two-out go-ahead RBI single to Fake Rafael Furcal. The Fake Mets' anemic offense could not recover.

In real life: In the cold and blustery nightcap, Oliver Perez couldn't get through 4 innings or make an early 3-0 lead stand up. But Hisanori Takahashi played hero again, and the Mets' bats came alive with a 3-run fifth and a 4-run sixth, capped by a bases-clearing triple by David Wright. Mets roll on to win 10-5.

Game 22: Mets 3, Dodgers 2
The Fake Mets took an early 1-0 lead off of Fake Chad Billingsley, but the Fake Dodgers got runs in the fourth and seventh innings on identical circumstances: leadoff hit by Fake Russell Martin, intentional walk to Fake Manny Ramirez to try for a double play, only to see a two-out RBI hit from Fake Andre Ethier. Fake Carlos Beltran singled in the bottom of the seventh and eventually came around to score on a Fake Daniel Murphy groundout. Then in the eighth, Fake Jose Reyes led off with a single, then scored the winning run on a hit by Fake Jeff Francoeur. Fake Frankie Rodriguez pitched a 1-2-3 ninth to preserve the win and salvage the last game of the series.

I should also note that, on the computer's recommendation, I rested a "tired" Fake David Wright in this game. Although I did not take its insane suggestion to swap Fake Jeff Francoeur and Fake Jose Reyes in the batting order.

In real life: John Maine had a good bounceback outing with 6 solid innings and 9 strikeouts. The Mets touched up rookie John Ely for 4 second inning runs and never looked back on their way to a 7-3 victory, their seventh in a row, and the culmination of a 9-1 homestand.

Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 8-14

Real Mets record: 13-9

Game 17: Mets 7, Braves 4
The Fake Mets took an early 3-1 lead, thanks to a massive first inning two-run homer by Fake David Wright. But the Fake Braves tied the game with solo homers by Fake Troy Glaus and Martin Prado. After the Fake Mets blew a chance to get Fake Jason Bay home from third with one out in the bottom of the eighth, Fake Yunel Escoabr hit a home run off of Fake Bobby Parnell to put Atlanta up 4-3. Fake Billy Wagner came on to try to earn a save, but two hits and a Wright sac fly tied the game anew, and Fake Carlos Beltran clubbed a three-run home run to give the Fake Mets a walkoff win.

In real life: After John Maine fled the game with a mysterious ailment in his non-pitching arm, Ike Davis hit his first major league home run--a 450-foot bomb to the Shea Bridge--to tie the game at 1. As Hisanori Takashi turned in a brilliant relief performance, the Mets went ahead with two runs in the seventh, then got two more in the eighth thanks to Atlanta's unfamiliarity with the finer details of the infield fly rule. Frankie Rodriguez allowed two base runners but danced out of danger to preserve a 5-2 win.

Game 18: Braves 6, Mets 4
Fake Ollie Perez struggled in the first, giving up two-run homer to Fake Chipper Jones and solo shot to Fake Troy Glaus. The Fake Mets came right back with three runs in their half, the last two scoring on a long two-RBI double by Fake Daniel Murphy. Fake Ollie settled down for a while, but gave up another two-run longball in the top of the sixth, this one to Fake Nate McClouth. The Fake Mets scored another run on a wild pitch in the bottom of the eighth, but could not complete the comeback.

In real life: Jon Niese danced in and out of danger all day, allowing plenty of baserunners but somehow only one run (with the aid of some sloppy baserunning by Yunel Escobar). Jason Bay tied the game with a long RBI double in the bottom of the sixth, and an RBI triple by Jeff Francoeur and a sac fly by Henry Blanco in the seventh put the Mets up 3-1. Pedro Feliciano stranded two runners in the eighth, and Frankie Rodriguez lodged his third save in as many games.

Game 19: Mets 8, Braves 3
John Maine pitched seven solid innings; his line would have looked better, but for a potential double play grounder that inexplicably skipped past Fake Daniel Murphy, leading to a two-run inning (it literally zipped past his feet, at a range at which fielders usually reach down and catch balls with ease). But a three-run homer by Fake Carlos Beltran in the fourth opened up a big lead for the Fake Mets, and a pinch-hit three-run shot by Fake Angel Pagan in the seventh put the game out of reach.

Since I've bitched about how unfair this game can be, I should make note of one way in which the game hands the user an advantage: the computer's bullpen management is atrocious. Throughout this series, Fake Atlanta would bring in lefty relievers like Fake Eric O'Flaherty to face dangerous righty batters like Fake Wright and Bay, something not even the dumbest real life manager would do. Such AI incompetence allowed me to mount or extend many a rally. So thank you, dumb computer.

In real life: Mike Pelfrey somehow extended his scoreless streak, though it took him 106 pitches and a few double play grounders to negotiate his way through five innings on a raw, rainy night. Jose Reyes manufactured a run in the first by singling, stealing second, and dashing home on an errant throw by Chipper Jones. The rain came for good just as the game went official and gave the Mets a 1-0 win and a weather-aided series sweep.

Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 7-12

Real Mets record: 10-9

Game 13: Mets 2, Cubs 1 (10)
The Fake Mets carried a 1-0 lead into the ninth, thanks to a stellar eight-inning performance by Fake Oliver Perez. But Fake Frankie Rodriguez gave up back-to-back doubles in the top of the ninth to tie the game. But the Fake Mets finally had some luck on their side. In the bottom of the tenth, Fake Daniel Murphy led off with a single, took second on a sac bunt, and advanced to third on a wild pitch. Then, Fake Omir Santos hit a lazy groundball in between first and second, just slow enough to allow Murphy to score and give the Fake Mets their first walkoff win of the season.

In real life: Jon Niese pitched a decent game and held the Cubs to one run, and the Chicago bullpen and defense handed the Mets a 5-run seventh inning to put them ahead by the eventual final score of 6-1. Ike Davis made his MLB debut and picked up his first hit and RBI.

Game 14: Cubs 10, Mets 1
Fake John Maine was clobbered for 10 hits, 7 runs, and two homers (by Fake Xavier Nady and Alfonso Soriano, who MLB10: The Show apparently mistakes for the Soriano of four years ago) in 4 1/3 innings. The Fake Mets could get nothing going against Fake Randy Wells and fell in a lopsided defeat.

In real life: Mike Pelfrey turned in another dominant start, going seven innings and giving up no runs and just three hits. Jose Reyes got on track with a four-hit night, and Fernando Tatis hit a pinch-hit two-run homer to put the game out of reach in the eighth inning. The bullpen made the 4-0 score stand up.

Game 15: Mets 4, Cubs 3
Fake Jon Niese had a decent outing, limiting the Fake Cubs to 3 runs. But the real star of this game was Fake Carlos Beltran, who clubbed two 2-run homers to account for all of the Fake Mets runs.

In real life: Oliver Perez came back to earth a bit, lasting just five innings and ceding 3 runs. Meanwhile, the Mets' bullpen became suddenly leaky and gave up 6 runs of its own, en route to a 9-3 defeat.

Game 16: Mets 4, Cubs 1
Fake Johan Santana went the distance to finally earn his first win of the year. Fake Jason Bay hit a two-run homer to get the Fake Mets on the board in the first inning. Picture included here so that Real Mets fans can finally get a glimpse of what Jason Bay homering looks like.

In real life: Johan Santana gritted his way through 6 and 1/3 innings, stranding runners all night and allowing just one earned run. The Cubs were undone by a four-run sixth inning in which two runs scored on a booted grounder by Mike Fontenot. With Chicago threatening in the eighth, Frankie Rodriguez was called on for a five-out save, which he somehow managed, and the Mets had a 5-2 victory and their first series win of the year.

Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 5-11

Real Mets record: 7-9

Game 10: Cardinals 4, Mets 2 (10)
Fake Jason Bay and Fake Ryan Ludwick each hit two solo homers to account for all the scoring in regulation, and Fake Carols Beltran made a leaping catch at the center field wall to rob Fake Albert Pujols of a round tripper. But Fake Kelvim Escobar surrendered a walkoff two-run dinger to Fake Colby Rasmus in the bottom of the tenth.

In real life: Oliver Perez turned in a stunningly good performance (given his history and the opponent), shutting out the Cardinals through six-plus innings. But when he walked the leadoff batter in the seventh, Jerry Manuel inexplicably turned to Fernando Nieve and Raul Valdes to protect the lead. One Felipe Lopez grand slam later, St. Louis had all the runs they needed. The Mets scratched out two runs in the ninth to make things interesting, but fell short.

Game 11: Cardinals 2, Mets 1 (12)
Fake Johan Santana limited the Fake Cardinals to one run in seven innings, while Fake Chris Carpenter took a no hitter into the seventh before surrendering leadoff single to Fake Jose Reyes and an RBI hit to Fake Carlos Beltran. The Fake Mets almost went ahead on a Fake Jason Bay double in the top of the tenth, but somehow Fake Beltran was thrown out trying to score from first (again, every opposing outfielder in this game has a cannon for an arm). For the second straight game, the fake Cardinals won on a walkoff hit, this time a Fake Jason LaRue RBI single.

In real life: In a game that may have set back baseball 100 years, a pitcher's duel between Johan Santana and Jaime Garcia devolved into a hitter's fail-off. The game remained scoreless for 18 innings, as the Cardinals turned aside numerous opportunities and the Mets failed to mount any. New York took a brief lead in the 19th inning on a Jeff Francoeur sac fly off of Joe Mather (a position player pulling a Matt Franco), then saw Frankie Rodriguez give it back up on a Yadier Molina RBI single (to be fair to K-Rod, he'd already thrown 100 (!) warmup pitches over the course of 10 innings). A Jose Reyes sac fly in the 20th gave the Mets another lead, and emergency closer Mike Pelfrey made it stand up. And for as much as I dislike Jerry Manuel, I have to concede I've never seen him commit managerial errors half as dumb as the crimes perpetrated by Tony "LOOK AT ME MANAGE" LaRussa in this game. (Although even he would not dare hit Matt Holliday in the leadoff spot, as his fake doppelganger does for some reason.)

Game 12: Cardinals 3, Mets 2 (12)
The Fake Mets broke through against Fake Adam Wainwright, thanks to RBI hist from Fake Jeff Francoeur and Fake Josh Thole. Fake Mike Pelfrey was masterful through the first 7 innings, striking out 11, until faltering in the eighth and giving up a run. Fake Francisco Rodriguez got the first two batters in the bottom of the ninth, then gave up three hits in a row to knot the game at 2. More futility followed on both sides, until some more two-out magic occurred in the bottom of the twelfth. Two singles were followed by a game-winning hit by fake Albert Pujols (his first in the series), and the Fake Mets had been swept in Fake St. Louis by three walkoff losses in a row.

In real life: The Mets somehow managed three runs off of Adam Wainwright, thanks to a bases loaded bloop and a throwing error. But John Maine labored through five torturous innings before giving up a three-run homer to Colby Rasmus, and Ryota Igarashi gave up a two-run homer to Ryan Ludwick on the first pitch he threw. Wainwright finished what he started, pitching a complete game on approximately 17 pitches.

Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 2-10

Real Mets record: 4-8

Game 7: Rockies 6, Mets 2
Fake Mike Pelfrey gave up a leadoff homer to fake Carlos Gonzalez, then settled in to retire nine batters in a row. The fake Mets could do little against fake Aaron Cook, though they scratched out the tying run in the top of the third when fake Josh Thole reached second base on a throwing error, moved to third on a Pelfrey sac bunt, and scored on a fake Jose Reyes groundout. But the fake Rockies came right back with an RBI double from fake Todd Helton in the bottom of the third, and two more runs in the bottom of the sixth. Fake Pedro Feliciano gave up a two-run homer to fake Clint Barmes in the bottom of the eighth that put the game out of reach. The Fake Mets loaded the bases with no outs in the ninth, and much like their real counterparts, could do little with it. Fake Orlando Hudson had a pinch hit RBI, but with two outs, fake Fernando Tatis tried to score from second on a single up the middle. In the real world, he would've scored easily. In the fake world, Gonzalez gunned him down at the plate to end the game,

In real life: John Maine improved on his disappointing first start by turning in a complete shit-show, aided by some typically Mets-ian brainless baseball, en route to a 11-3 drubbing in Colorado.

Game 8: Rockies 7, Mets 4
The Fake Mets touched up Fake Jeff Francis for four runs in the top of the fourth, then decided to take the rest of the game off. Fake Good Ollie was seen at first, shutting down the Fake Rockies through the first four innings. Then Fake Bad Ollie made an appearance to give up four runs of his own, including a two-run bomb to Fake Todd Helton. Fake Chris Ianetta untied the game with a solo homer off of Ollie in the bottom of the sixth, and Helton put the final nail in the coffin with his second two-run homer in the eighth.

In real life: Jon Niese could not hold leads of 1-0 and 3-1. The Mets rallied late to tie the game at 5, but Jennry Mejia gave up a leadoff homer in the bottom of the tenth to Chris Iannetta, handing the Rockies a walkoff victory.

Game 9: Rockies 1, Mets 0
Fake John Maine pitched a complete game, scattering eight hits over eight innings. Unfortunately, one of those hits was an RBI single by Fake Troy Tulowitzki in the first, and that was the only run the Fake Rockies would need. Fake Jorge de la Rosa completely baffled the Fake Mets hitters, and they could only manage four hits as they were swept by fake Colorado.

In real life: The Mets salvaged their series in Denver with a 5-0 win over the real, much more hittable Jorge de la Rosa. Mike Pelfrey pitched seven great innings to overcome some weird base running mistakes and his teammates' continued inability to hit with runners in scoring position.

Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 2-7

Real Mets record: 3-6

Game 4: Mets 6, Nationals 4
The Fake Nationals scratched out two early runs against starter Mike Pelfrey, but he settled in and pitched 7 strong innings, allowing the Fake Mets to rally for three runs in the bottom of the fourth. Carlos Beltran clubbed a two-run homer in the bottom of the fifth to extend the lead, and the Fake Mets managed an insurance run in the eighth on an Omir Santos sac fly. Pedro Feliciano pitched a scoreless top of the eighth, and K-Rod earned his first save of the year despite giving up a run in the ninth.

In real life: An uncharacteristic show of power enabled the Mets to overcome an early 2-0 deficit. Jeff Francoeur and Rod Barajas each hit two homers en route to an 8-2 win.

Game 5: Nationals 3, Mets 1
Fake Jon Niese pitched six solid innings and gave up just three runs, but the Fake Mets' bats were lulled to sleep by Ross Detwiler.

In real life: Oliver Perez showed some signs of life but also displayed his affinity for walks and giving up hits to the bottom of the order. The formerly terrible Willy Taveras drove in all the Nats' runs with a pair of two-run hits. The Mets nearly crawled back in the bottom in the ninth, but were slayed by--what else?--an amazing defensive play by Willie Harris, whose sole purpose for being on any major league roster is to crush their hopes.

Game 6: Nationals 2, Mets 0
Fake John Lannan was in control the entire game, scattering six hits and pitching a complete game shutout. Fake Johan Santana pitched eight good innings, but got burned by back-to-back two-out RBI singles in the top of the sixth. A potential rally was snuffed in the bottom of the sixth when Fake David Wright, after beating out an infield hit, kept running the bases to second, then third, and was finally tagged out. I tried to make him run back, to no avail. I have no idea how this happened or why, but I thought it was so funny I just let it happen.

In real life: Johan Santana was not nearly as sharp as his fake counterpart, giving up a first inning grand slam to Josh Willingham (another Met killer) and struggling his way through five innings. The Mets didn't so much face Livan Hernandez as lay down and die for him (or Jerry Manuel did, at least, by giving an insane amount of at-bats to Garry Matthews Jr., Mike Jacobs, and Frank Catalanotto). The only sign of a pulse came when K-Rod hit Willie Harris in the arm with a pitch--not on purpose, of course, but you can understand why he might think it was (or why the Mets might want to hit him).

Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 2-4

Real Mets record: 2-4

For future installments of The Parallel Universe Fake Mets, I hope to have little screencaps and so forth. That was not possible for these entries, because as I mentioned earlier this week, this week has been a bitch and a half. For now, you'll have to make do with this realistic animation of Luis Castillo getting forced out at second.

One aspect of the unfairness of MLB10:The Show I forgot about in my first post: If you throw a breaking pitch, there's a 50 percent chance it will skip past the catcher. Regardless of the pitcher, regardless of the catcher, there are a huge amount of wild pitches/passed balls in this game.

Game 1: Fake Marlins 4, Fake Mets 2
The Fake Mets jumped out to an early lead on Josh Johnson, when Jose Reyes led off with an infield single, moved to second on an errant throw, and scored on a David Wright RBI single. But the Marlins stormed back with four straight hits against Johan Santana in the top of the third, sparked by a leadoff single by Johnson of all people (pitchers in this game are way better hitters than their real life counterparts), and the Fake Marlins went up 3-1. Carlos Beltran thrilled the crowd with an inside-the-park homerun (aided by Chris Coghlan bouncing off the left field wall), but Cody Ross hit an out-of-the-park homer of his own, and the Fake Mets could not catch up, getting just one more hit the rest of the way.

In real life: Amazingly, the Real Mets managed to beat Josh Johnson for the first time. Wright hit a two-run homer in the bottom of the first, Santana was his usual sharp self, and the Mets capitalized on some typically shoddy Marlins defense to cruise to a 7-1 win.

Game 2: Fake Mets 2, Fake Marlins 1
Fake Mike Pelfrey was sharp through 7 innings, and David Wright clubbed a two-run homer off of Ricky Nolasco to provide all the offense the Mets would need. The one run Pelfrey "allowed" should not have scored at all. John Baker hit a ball up the middle, and I tried to make Jose Reyes dive at the ball. But what often happens in The Show is that the computer switches your fielders very quickly. By the time I was diving, my fielding capabilities had already transfered to Carlos Beltran. That meant Carlos was sprawled out on the turf instead of chasing down Baker's grounder, and he got a gift double, then moved to third on another grounder and scored on a sac fly. Pedro Feliciano and Kelvim Escobar combined for a scoreless eighth, and Frankie Rodriguez set down the Fake Marlins 1-2-3 in the ninth for his first fake save of the year.

In real life: John Maine struggled through five innings, ceding four runs and falling behind every batter he faced, and the bullpen let up two more (including Jennry Mejia in his MLB debut). The Mets somehow "rallied" to tie the game at 6, thanks to a leaky, wild Marlins bullpen. But the Marlins took a lead in the top of the tenth, and the Mets went down quietly in the bottom half.

Game 3: Fake Marlins 5, Fake Mets 3
Fake Oliver Perez was pretty much what you might expect, and struggled through five innings, giving up three runs. The Fake Mets rallied against Anibal Sanchez, taking advantage of two walks in the bottom of the fifth to score two runs, then tie it up on a Jeff Francoeur homer in the sixth. But set-up man Kelvim Escobar got slapped around for two runs in the top of the eighth, and the Fake Mets could not recover.

In real life: Jon Niese had a decent debut, which might have looked even better if he had any defense behind him. He gave up three runs over six innings, but the anemic Mets bats couldn't catch up and never mounted any threat against Nate Robertson or the suddenly unhittable Marlins bullpen.

Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 1-2

Real Mets record: 1-2