05.06.07 - Roger Clemens Appears Upon The Balcony

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UPCOMING EVENTS

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Roger Clemens Appears Upon The Balcony

Ladies and gentlemen, it's 7th inning stretch time. Will you please rise, remove your caps, and honor America by listening with rapt attention to Mr. Roger Clemens.

Thank you, Bob Sheppard. I have returned to Yankee Stadium, to the site of some of my greatest triumphs, because a specter has fallen across the Bronx. That is the specter of mediocrity.

I could no longer sit idly by while so-called pitchers just up from Scranton could go only as far as the fifth inning. To struggle is glorious, for it makes the taste of victory that much sweeter. But to flounder, to fail, that is an abomination to a Yankee.

There are people who will tell you that to be a Yankee is to be an overpriced automaton. There are people who have mocked the Yankee name by calling us sore-elbowed pitchers and karate chopping third basemen.

These people have dishonored the Yankee name. And you too have dishonored that name, by allowing them to speak such slander and still walk the Earth.

There was a time when those who dishonored the Yankee name were summarily punished. Those who dared perform such insolence as defeating them were dealt with in the harshest of terms.

The shame piled upon us has been compounded by your silence. You have been a party to your own debasement. And yet, there is still time to redeem yourself, to reclaim the mantle you have so wantonly discarded. Will you stand there and allow the world to deny our postseason destiny?

I said, WILL YOU STAND THERE AND ALLOW THE WORLD TO DENY OUR POSTSEASON DESTINY?!

Make no mistake, my friends, this revolution will not be a tea party. Blood will be spilled. But the pages of history are written in the blood of the defeated.

You must decide if you are bold enough to follow me, as we wade ankle-deep in the spilled entrails of our enemies. Except on those four days a week when I'll be back at my home in Texas for some reason.

The Rocket has spoken.

Posted 05.06.07 11:09pm * Permalink