Fast Times at NL East High

wright.jpgHey, Chipper.

chipper3.jpgS’up, Dave. You goin to that kegger at HanRam’s house place this weekend?

wright.jpgNah. My dad won’t lend me the Dodge. Listen, I gotta talk to you about somethin. I heard you were sayin some shit about me. Said I wasn’t happy at CitiField.

chipper3.jpgFer real? No way, bro. I’d never say somethin like that.

wright.jpgWhen I say I heard it, I mean I actually heard you say it on the radio.

chipper3.jpgOh, yeah. I guess I did kinda say that.

wright.jpgWhy’d you do that, man? I told you that in confidence.

chipper3.jpgI was on the radio and they asked me about your new stadium, so I told em what you said. What else you want me to do?

wright.jpgSay something bland and inoffensive like everyone else does.

chipper3.jpg*pfft* That’s not how Chipper rolls, you know that. I speak my mind.

wright.jpgIt’s a low blow, man. That’s not how bros treat each other.

chipper3.jpgSure it is! I talk shit about everyone in this division. What about that time I told everyone that Dan Uggla eats paste?

uggla.JPGFuck you. That shit tastes good.

chipper3.jpgOr when I spilled the beans about Ryan Zimmerman wetting the bed?

zimmerman.jpgOnce! I did that once!

chipper3.jpgThat’s how it is, man. Bros are always bustin each other’s chops. Don’t get all bent outta shape.

victorino.jpgS’up, losers

/slams Wright into locker with flying elbow

Have fun at jerk practice!

/runs away as fast as possible

chipper3.jpgYou should stick up for yourself, man.

wright.jpgHe was gone so quick, I couldn’t do nothin. And if we’re such best buds, why didn’t you say anything?

chipper3.jpgDon’t worry, I got revenge on that douche. Totally got his sister pregnant.

wright.jpgReally?! Jesus…

chipper3.jpgWell, I got some girl pregnant. You expect me to keep track of that kinda stuff?