Jorge and Brian Have a Heart-to-Heart

Jorge, honey? Can I come in?
C’mon, I know you’re upset about the new batting order…
I don’t wanna hit ninth!
Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. That’s part of growing up.
I’m a good hitter!
Of course you are! You’re still a better hitter than 99 percent of all the people in the world. You’re just not as good as the rest of our lineup or bench, or a sizable portion of our minor league system.
It’s not fair!
No, it is fair. It’s the definition of fair. What’s not fair is making you bat in front of people who are still good at baseball. Do you want Robinson Cano to hit ninth? How about Mark Teixeira?
I don’t care, I don’t wanna hit ninth.
What are you going to do, quit?

Maybe I will.

Maybe you could do that. And maybe I could tell everyone what a baby you’re being and embarrass you in front of the entire NY press corps and all your classmates.
Why would you do that?!
Because I love you and want what’s best for you, sweetie! But if you won’t toughen up, I have to what’s best for the rest of the family. Now since you’re quitting, let me just get out my phone and call up Bill Madden. He’s gonna wanna hear all about this…
No, don’t do that! I’ll look like an asshole!
Remember what I always say: only you can make you look an asshole.
*sigh* Fine. I’ll hit ninth.
And pinch hit.
That’s my little slugger. C’mere, gimme a hug.
Hank, leave your big brother alone!