Behold! The Crazy Local Ad Lives!

On this site, I’ve often lamented the disappearance of insane local TV ads in the tri-state area. Thanks to the high cost of broadcast time and the disappearance of the mom-and-pop outfit, seems like there’s just no place in this world for the owner of a used car lot to put on a huge foam cowboy hat, force his kids to woodenly recite lines, and blow out lavalier mics anymore. *sigh*

Not so fast! Last night I saw a commercial on (where else?) SNY that gives me hope for the future of Crazy Local Ads. Granted, the production values on this are much, much better than the traditional Crazy Local Ad. Advances in video technology have made it virtually impossible to make a “cheap” looking commercial anymore. And obviously, some expense was spared to write and record the epic jingle you’re about to hear. Still, I feel safe placing this into the category of Crazy Local Ad, for reasons that I hope will become evident shortly.

Without further ado, I present to you Daisy Mae’s BBQ.

Wow. That’s a lotta crazy in 30 seconds. Maybe you didn’t catch it all on your first viewing. Don’t worry, I have a fully detailed breakdown for you, because I’ve watched this thing 50 times since last night.

Start: The jingle vaguely follows the olde timey tune “Bicycle Built for Two,” but you can hear the “homage” lose steam almost immediately. The only instrumentation you can clearly make out are timpanis and background yellers (CUE! CHEW!) And oh, that voice. Boy, that makes me hungry for barbecue. Or a throat lozenge.

0:04: I think this man wants to murder these ribs.

0:08: You know, it’s okay to write more than one draft of something. If your first set of lyrics require the singer to cram a bazillion words into one small space like the Micro Machines guy, you can try again. Really, you can. Virtually all pretense of “Daisy, Daisy…” has been dropped by this point.

0:10: The girl licking barbecue sauce (I hope?) from her fingers, which is clearly meant to be sexy, but just looks like she’s someone who might be too mentally impaired to know how to use a wet nap. And what is on her fingers? They’re orange and yellow and black–is she wearing candy corn?!

0:14: This is the part I had to rewind a million times, because I was laughing so hard. This poor girl goes through at least five distinct accents in the span of one sentence, and never quite settles on one. Is she supposed to be Southern? Irish? Pirate?

0:25: “It’s the best sweet iced tea in a jar you’ve ever had!” Forgive my Yankee ignorance, but is that an actual Southern barbecue thing? Because it sounds completely made up by someone who knows nothing of Southern cuisine. “Come on over, y’all, for some dee-licious meatloaf in a cone!” The picture of said jarred iced tea also looks more like pickled red peppers.

0:27: The jingle tries again to pick up the “Bicycle Built for Two” motif at the very end, yet also doesn’t come to a definitive end. It definitely sounds like it’s going to launch into another verse, completely with timpani roll, and then just like that, the ad is over. Extremely unsettling.

Daisy Mae’s BBQ, thank you for making us laugh about Crazy Local Ads. Again.