Your New President: Trump Castle

I remain convinced that 1) the Trump-for-President talk will fade as soon as a more viable Republican candidate emerges, and 2) even if it doesn’t, he will have his ass handed to him as soon as he attempts any serious campaigning. The man is a grown child, a spoiled brat, and he hasn’t the slightest idea of what he’s in for if he actually runs for office.

The biggest nightmare that awaits him in running for office is an arena in which he can definitively lose. I don’t think Trump could handle that, because he has never truly and unequivocally lost at anything. In business, you can technically fail–as Trump has done many times–yet still turn a profit and, in a sense, win. Now that he’s dipping his toes into political punditry, he still can find a way to win when he loses. When Obama produced his birth certificate, Trump got to take credit for “forcing the issue.” So even though he lost in the sense that he was dead wrong (and also lying, it seems, about having all those “investigators” in Hawaii), he could claim that he “won” by making the president respond to his idiotic needling.

But when you actually run for office, you can lose. Not only that, but everyone will know exactly how badly you lost. I can’t imagine that Trump would put himself in such a position.

However, since speculation about him running will not go away, I promise to regularly post some Trump-related monstrosity until it does. First up, an ad that is deeply ingrained upon my psyche. Because Trump was not satisfied with just plaguing Atlantic City with his tacky casinos. He also had to pollute the local airwaves with his cheesy ads. If you lived anywhere in the tri-state area in the last 30 years, you probably saw this a thousand times more than you ever wanted to. The 80s-riffic jingle in this ad gets re-stuck in my head once every few months, at which point I raise my fists to the heavens and scream TRUMP!!!

How classy was Trump Castle Hotel and Casino? You can hazard a guess based on the fact that a large yellow sign that blares FREE PARKING gets as much screen time as anyone else in this ad.

Also, if you want to know what kind of person would seriously contemplate voting for Trump for president, peep this comment that appears below the video.

A Henry VIII-esque slob of a king and FREE PARKING–an inspiration to us all! TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP..