Game 4: Mets 6, Nationals 4
The Fake Nationals scratched out two early runs against starter Mike Pelfrey, but he settled in and pitched 7 strong innings, allowing the Fake Mets to rally for three runs in the bottom of the fourth. Carlos Beltran clubbed a two-run homer in the bottom of the fifth to extend the lead, and the Fake Mets managed an insurance run in the eighth on an Omir Santos sac fly. Pedro Feliciano pitched a scoreless top of the eighth, and K-Rod earned his first save of the year despite giving up a run in the ninth.
In real life: An uncharacteristic show of power enabled the Mets to overcome an early 2-0 deficit. Jeff Francoeur and Rod Barajas each hit two homers en route to an 8-2 win.
Game 5: Nationals 3, Mets 1
Fake Jon Niese pitched six solid innings and gave up just three runs, but the Fake Mets’ bats were lulled to sleep by Ross Detwiler.
In real life: Oliver Perez showed some signs of life but also displayed his affinity for walks and giving up hits to the bottom of the order. The formerly terrible Willy Taveras drove in all the Nats’ runs with a pair of two-run hits. The Mets nearly crawled back in the bottom in the ninth, but were slayed by–what else?–an amazing defensive play by Willie Harris, whose sole purpose for being on any major league roster is to crush their hopes.
Game 6: Nationals 2, Mets 0
Fake John Lannan was in control the entire game, scattering six hits and pitching a complete game shutout. Fake Johan Santana pitched eight good innings, but got burned by back-to-back two-out RBI singles in the top of the sixth. A potential rally was snuffed in the bottom of the sixth when Fake David Wright, after beating out an infield hit, kept running the bases to second, then third, and was finally tagged out. I tried to make him run back, to no avail. I have no idea how this happened or why, but I thought it was so funny I just let it happen.
In real life: Johan Santana was not nearly as sharp as his fake counterpart, giving up a first inning grand slam to Josh Willingham (another Met killer) and struggling his way through five innings. The Mets didn’t so much face Livan Hernandez as lay down and die for him (or Jerry Manuel did, at least, by giving an insane amount of at-bats to Garry Matthews Jr., Mike Jacobs, and Frank Catalanotto). The only sign of a pulse came when K-Rod hit Willie Harris in the arm with a pitch–not on purpose, of course, but you can understand why he might think it was (or why the Mets might want to hit him).
Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 2-4
Real Mets record: 2-4