John Boehner Defends His Art

boehner.jpgI’m sick of all this criticism of the charts and graphs in the Republican budget plan. I thought the liberal media would be able to recognize the aesthetic reality we were going for. But obviously, I have to explain myself to you philistines.

Unlike the President, Republicans have no interest in the showy maximalism of Shepherd Fairey. The pop culture references, the retro-Soviet imagery, the cold, angular typefaces–ugh, it makes me cringe!

Have you read the President’s budget? It’s incomprehensible! What font did he use for this thing? I wouldn’t be surprised to see overlapping type in here, like some horrible early 90s music rag. I thought we were all over David Carson, but I guess some of us aren’t!

No, Republicans harken back to the sleek minimalism of Milton Glaser. Like “I Heart NY”, one of the most successful ad campaigns of all time. That art was such a perfect synthesis of simplicity and complication, it almost quelled the burning hatred I have for New York and all its out-of-touch liberal elites. And its hopelessly navel-gazing art world.

Is our art simple? I would ask, Is a line simple? It depends on where the line comes from, and where it leads to. A line means nothing, but a line means everything. I would think you would all know that by now.

I shouldn’t have to explain the Republican budget plan to you people. It should stand on its own, and if you had even the most rudimentary grounding in art and graphic design, you would know that!

God, I haven’t been this mad since I went to the last Matthew Barney exhibit!