Tag Archives: rock stupid people

One Out of Five Americans…

  • obama2.JPGThink President Obama is a Muslim
  • Don’t believe in the letter Q
  • Suspect the U.S. Army faked the landing at Normandy
  • Fear eating grapes can “turn ya queer”
  • Pray to Jesus nightly to give them their own hoverboard
  • Want Justin Bieber to be appointed Dictator for Life
  • Ask their minister, every Sunday, if a fish can become born again
  • Refuse to recognize the month of October
  • Wish there were more items with badly drawn Calvins peeing on things they don’t like
  • Actively fantasize about Herman Munster
  • Participated in a protest against the author of Bloom County, for reasons they can’t remember
  • Think it would be cool to be Swamp Thing for like, a day
  • Have at least thought about punching a duck
  • Once shoveled pudding in their mouths with a fork and felt really weird about it
  • Can’t decide if David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest is an
    ambitious but flawed attempt at constructing a sweeping nigh-Proustian
    epic or a titanic achievement of modern literature that shall be
    studied for centuries to come
  • Have eaten more than one battery