Tag Archives: literary nonsense

Life Isn’t Fair and Then You Die. The End.

throw_computer.jpgI’d like to write for a living. That’s always been my dream. At various points of my adult life, I’ve earned deaux to write, in various media. I even get the occasional royalty check for Olde Works. But it’s far from money I could eat on.

Writing for a living is not essential to my well being, since I have other abilities/experience that keep me employable. Plus, for all I know, getting paid to write full time might totally sap the joy and love out of it. Maybe the dream would turn out to be a nightmare.

Writing is lonely. It’s solitary, requires a ton of time to perfect your craft and complete projects, and can have very few dividends (or none at all). A writer who taught at Brooklyn College once told me, “The world doesn’t need your stories.” (He meant the third-person you, not me personally.) You have to realize that no one’s chomping at the bit, waiting for your next tome. You have to realize that no one’s going to pat you on the back, even when you accomplish something.

It is a vocation that requires a lot of self control, because validation probably won’t come from the outside world for a very, very long time, if ever. In fact, most factors from the outside world will be horrifyingly discouraging. Like these two items that passed over my transom yesterday.

Continue reading Life Isn’t Fair and Then You Die. The End.

Die Die Die: Lexus Performs the Collected Works of John Cheever

I don’t have a problem with the commercialization of Christmas. Or at least I think it’s pointless to rail against it. Christmas is a holiday whose main purpose is to buy presents for other people. In other words, commercialization is built right in. You might as well hop in the ocean and complain about how wet it is. “What the hell–this ocean is full of water!” You know when Christmas wasn’t commercialized? Never. Don’t like it? Deal with it, Linus Van Pelt.

What I do find gross at this time of year is commercials that equate Spending A Lot Of Money with A Demonstration Of Love. There have been many offenders in this category over the years, but my least favorites have to be the Lexus Christmas ads. These spots return every December, a lot like the old Norelco ad. But rather than show Santa tooling around in an Electric Shaver/Sled, these ads want you to drop 80 grand on a luxury sedan.

The commercials vary slightly every year, but they follow a basic formula: One family member–almost always a father/husband–uses a clever means to reveal his purchase of a Lexus to its lucky recipient. Sometimes, children are involved. Sometimes, carolers are put to work. Whatever ruse is employed, it’s twee and precious and ends with the revelation of a brand new Lexus in the driveway, topped with an enormous red bow.

As with many ads that infuriate me, I don’t understand what audience this commercial is pitching to. If you’re rich enough to swing a Lexus, you buy one, end of story. The Rich don’t need a holiday as an excuse to treat themselves to a brand new automobile. And they don’t need to be enticed with the oily aromas of Dealer Incentives and Year End Rebates.

If you’re waiting around for an Annual Sales Drive or Factory Surplus to buy a Lexus, guess what? You can’t afford one. Putting these commercials on the air, at this time of year, is just a slap in the face to every Working Schmuck laboring under a mountain of debt and expectations.

Continue reading Die Die Die: Lexus Performs the Collected Works of John Cheever